I reached for my heart today
Then I pulled my hand back away
From the cold of the grave

I had forgotten where I left that part
I had forgotten where I had left my heart
I had forgotten that I wanted to start
Forgetting you

Whenever I try to reach that part of me
I always forget and am stunned to see
Frostbitten fingers reaching back at me
The grave reaches out to me from my heart
A grasp so cold it burns
Ensnares my shadow heart and it yearns
To return to itself in the grave
But to save myself these thoughts I stave
Off with what's left of my feeble mind
Off with what's left of this feeble rind
Of humanity I call my body

Amidst the ashes of my soul
I struggle in vain to find a coal
Of Purpose, for my life's sake
So I do not my blessings forsake
In vain, in vain!
I have lost myself again!
Amidst the ashes of my soul
I have lost the coal
Of Purpose.

It is lost to me now,
I cannot fathom how
I will escape this dungeon of discontent
My...
Soul was my heart
My heart was my soul
I do not know where to start
Sifting through one to find the other
My heart, my soul's brother
Conjoined they were
But now just a reddish blur
Spattered upon the floor
Nevermore, nevermore!

Burned away from within,
At least I was alive.
So now I strive
To live again,
To die again.
So I begin
To fashion myself another heart
So that I can start
To live again.

05/04/2004