Delusions
Written by Felicia Spencer

AN: This is a poem about being alone and unloved. It's about the feelings
that surface when you're totally ignored by the one that you love, and
neither one can admit their feelings. This was so hard to write, and I
would welcome your honest opinion about this poem.


Sometimes I feel so inadequate
Sometimes I feel so hated
Sometimes I feel like worthless trash
I guess that's why I'm jaded

I see you looking at me, and I smile
And there's nothing left for me to do
I get so angry when I'm ignored
And I have the right to blame you

I want to get so very angry
And blame everything under the sun
I want to feel liked I'm loved.special
To really feel like I'm someone

Why should I blame every one
When I share part of the blame
Maybe I'm responsible
For a small part of my pain

If that's really true
Then I guess it's well deserved
Then the blame will be placed on me
And justice will finally be served

My hearts been corroded to the bone
Eaten away like a spreading cancer
I try to look into myself
To hopefully find the answers

But the answers never seem to come
And confusion still haunts my thoughts
It's like my mind is playing tricks on me
No matter the pain it's brought

I give. I give up
Wave my flag in defeat
I'll take all of my burdens
Placed down at my feet

I've been told this once before
No one likes a quitter
But I quit, and I finally give up
And that's what's making me bitter

So cry me a river
No, I'll cry my own
I'll drown in my own despair
Until I'm no longer alone



I want to send a shout out to all my friends that have supported me. Thanks
you guys/gals. Thanks also go out to two new people that added me to their
favorite lists:
Acir15
Catherine Miller
Thanks you guys. You're the best. TTFN.