Final Thoughts

By Knightmare Elite

With a shaky hand I turn on the water feeling myself nearing that edge.

It should have to be end this way if only I had never made a pledge.

I tried to be a good girl so bright and cheerful at good nature's beck and call.

Only to discover how hard those who are different must fall.

It is my fault I was born into such a hell. It doesn't matter soon all will be well.

Here I am in the world, such a lost and lonely girl.

I want to feel what makes me sad. Thoughts of joy make me whirl

Nothing ever seems fair from the size of my chest to the color of my hair.

Why can't I be one of the popular girls whose life is always there?

Nothing seems right everything is wrong the more I try the more I fall.

It never seems to go my way unless my way it to fail.

How should I know when my ambitions will set sail?

I don't deserve to suffer like this. To end this pain is all I ask

I can no longer drown away my sorrows in a tin iron flask.

Ending all life is what I'd want no longer this world would my meaningless existence haunt.

Here I sit in an over flown tub grasping my liberation

My hands tremble with self doubt of what my mind forces me to contemplate.

It's no less fortunate for me wonder if this is more sacrilegious than to masturbate.

With a shaky hand I steady the razor over my wrist.

Just to imagine when my parents find me; will they be angry or will they be pissed.

It doesn't matter anymore they might have loved me or only pretended.

But in my life all the pain and all of the self doubt will surely have ended.

With this final slash my once clear surroundings transform into a crimson sea of euphoria.

Everything is getting hazy, my eyes are feeling so lazy to enjoy these last moments here in hell….my life I remember it so well.