There's More Than One Way To Cry

Silent, I sit, moving with the rhythm of the rain

Eyes closed, I listen as the notes slowly fade

Moonlight beams through my windowpane

Bestowing glory onto to my sacred blade

Anticipation floods my gut

Against these feelings , I cannot win

Hands shake as I prepare to cut

Craving to endure the razor on my skin

Gracefully, it slides across pale flesh

Down my spine, spirals an icy chill

I press down firmer, the hurt I must refresh

Intently watching the crimson droplets spill

Heart thumping, shorter breaths of hollow air

Adrenaline pumps through my rigid veins

To halt in these actions, I wouldn't dare

Bound to this damned instrument through invisible chains

Harder, I plunge the glistening strips

Tears explode, drenching my hand

Deeper I dig; all rationality slips

The thrill is more than I can stand

Slowly, I come crashing down from my high

Sucking in all remnants of my sweet self-affliction

The sickness of my behavior, I will not deny

In a world of suffering and loss, it is my addiction

The blood has clotted

All that remain are stains

To the sink I trotted

Desperate to wash away my pain

Treading outside to clear my mind

I let open wounds kiss the rain

And smile as a fa├žade of happiness is all I find

It's that one thing in life that I long to attain

I know it isn't right

My goal is not to die

I just need to bleed tonight

Because I don't know how to cry