A Doggy Day

Hi. My name is Arthur and I... uh.... Just a sec. Merlyn! What do I look like?

You're brown with big feet.

Yeah. I'm.... What color again?

Brown!

Right. I'm brown. Anyways, Merlyn is my big brother. He is so cool. He's smart and brave, and his ears are fun to chew on.

You'd better believe I'm smart. I'm not just smart, I'm a genius. And you had better stop chewing on my ears.

He's really nice too. He never makes me share the doggy bed with him. He sleeps on the people bed all snuggly warm next to the mommy and lets me have the doggy bed all by myself every night.

Tattle tail.

We live in a really big house with our family. There's the mommy and the daddy and the boy and the 'bebby' sitter girl.

Baby sitter!

One time, the daddy wanted to get rid of me, because I chewed up a lot of chairs. I don't know how many there were because I can't count that high, but Merlyn knows.

Eight, Arthur. You chewed up eight whole dinning-room chairs! I told you not to chew them, but you never listen. Is it even possible for you to comprehend anything I say, what with the lack of substance between your ears?

They tasted so good and my mouth hurt, so I just had to chew them. When the daddy found out he got mad and yelled so loud it hurt my ears. He said I was stupid, but the mommy says that I'm not stupid, I just have big feet.

Now he remembers the big feet.

I was so scared that I went to hide behind the cushy thing in the living room.

It's called a sofa.

When the mommy got home she told the daddy they had to keep me.
Well, today something special happened. Me and Merlyn-

Merlyn and I.

Merlyn and I, we woke up and the mommy had us race down to go to the potty like she always does. Mommy thought Merlyn was going to win, but I pushed him out of the way and got outside first. Do you know what I saw? There was white stuff all over, and it was cold and fluffy and...and it was white. Merlyn ran right into the yard and ate some. I guessed it couldn't be so bad if I could eat it.
Do you know what else happened? The people came out and they were all covered up. I couldn't even see the fur on the top of their heads. The girl picked up a ball and threw it at the boy. Then the boy picked up another ball and threw it at the baby sitter. I wanted to play with the balls, but I couldn't find them.

That's because they fell apart when they hit our people.

After they stopped playing with the disappearing balls the mommy and daddy went back inside. The girl and the boy took some weird looking chairs and dragged them to the top of the hill. They sat down and started to go down the hill. They moved faster than the kitty does when I chase her. I thought they were going to get hurt. I ran behind them and kept barking, "They're gonna' get hurt! They're gonna' get hurt!" But then, they got to the bottom of the hill and stopped.

I could have told you they weren't going to get hurt.

You ran behind them too.

I ran after them because I think it's fun, and I needed the exercise.

Then how come you kept howling that they were gonna' get hurt?

To make you feel better.

Oh. Well, the girl and the boy went back up the hill and rode down again. One time, the boy crashed. I was sure he was hurt, but he got up and laughed and went back up the hill again. The girl wanted to give me a ride, but I was too scared. Merlyn rode with her few times though.
When the little people finally stopped going up and down the hill, they went inside. It took a long time for them to take off all the funny things they were wearing. They had white stuff all over them and the white stuff, some of it came off and was on the floor. I even ate some of it. You know what else? The mommy made the boy and the girl put their stuff in the big metal thing that makes a lot of noise.

It's called a drier, Arthur. People put cloths in it to get the cloths dry.

Once the little people got all their stuff in the.... What did you say it was Merlyn?

It's a drier.

Once their stuff was in the drier the boy and the girl got some really good stuff to drink. I'm not supposed to have any, but one time the boy left a cup on the table in the living room, and I got up on the table and tried some. It was so good, and it warmed my nose up.
The baby sitter girl and the boy went into the living room and sat next to the fireplace. Merlyn told me that the daddy is the one who put the fire in the fireplace. I asked Merlyn why the daddy did it, but Merlyn was looking at the fire and didn't hear me.
Sometimes I think Merlyn can't hear. When we're outside and the mommy calls our names, I go right to her but, Merlyn must not hear her because he doesn't come. The mommy always asks, "Where's you brother, Arthur?" I offer to go get Merlyn, but the mommy makes me stay. It always takes a long time for him to come back and sometimes, sometimes the mommy sends one of the little people to go get Merlyn.

Just get back to your other story.

What's wrong Merlyn? You don't sound happy.

Nothing. Just get on with the story.

Okay. You don't have to bark at me. Well.... Where was I Merlyn?

You were at the part where the little people were drinking the hot chocolate next to the fire.

What's hot 'chacocohot'?

It's hot cho-co-late, and it's the drink you were talking about.

Really? You're so smart Merlyn. You know everything.

I know.

Well, they were drinking that drink and watching the big box with people inside, and the mommy came in and told them that once they warmed up they were going to get Chrisy Miss' tree. What's Chrisy Miss' tree, Merlyn?

It's called a Christmas tree, not Chrisy Miss. People go out and cut down a big firtree and then they-

Why do they want a furry tree?

It's not furry!

But you just said that-

Trust me, Arthur. The tree doesn't have fur. It's in the living room. Did you see any fur on it?

No.

Then it's not furry. Now, don't interrupt me again. As I was saying, They cut down a big firtree, and then they bring it into the house to decorate it. It's just something they do the celebrate Christmas.

What's Christmas?

It's a holiday that celebrates the birth of Jesus Christ.

Who's Jesus Kris?

I'll tell you later. Finish your story.

All right Merlyn. Anyway, the boy and the girl drank up their warm drink faster than I can eat a treat. They ran up stairs. I chased them. The girl went into the closet and pulled out some, I think she calls them cloths, and tossed a bundle to the boy. She switched the cloths and ran back down the stairs. She went into the room that they give me baths in and started putting stuff on her face.
"Why are you putting make up on?" the daddy asked. "We're going to cut down a tree, not to the mall."
"What if there's a cute guy helping his family cut down the tree?" she pointed out and started to brush her long fur.
I got bored of watching her, so I went to find the mommy. The mommy was pouring something into a big cup with a lid. The stuff smelled like the warm drink. I begged her for some, but she didn't give me any. She did give me a doggy bone though.
The girl came into the kitchen and asked the mommy if me and Merlyn-

If Merlyn and I.

-if Merlyn and I could go with them to get the tree. The mommy said we could! The girl left the room, and I followed her. She picked something up and then picked me up to. I didn't know what she was doing until it was too late. She had put the rope thingy on my collar. She put one on Merlyn too and took us to the car.
The other people came to the car and we drove for a while. Merlyn likes to look out the window, but I don't. It's too scary. All the other cars go by really fast.

Don't be such a baby.

I'm sorry Merlyn. Anyway, it took a long time but, we got to the place. We got out of the car and there were so many trees! I wanted to sniff every one, but the girl kept pulling on the rope thingy.
The mommy pointed to a tree and the others nodded. The daddy swung a stick with something on the end and hit the tree with it. The sound scared me, and I tried to run away but the rope thingy kept me from going. The girl let me walk away a little bit, but I jumped with each crack.
It seemed like forever, but the daddy cut down the tree, and my family dragged the tree to the car. A stranger came over. He was really big, smelled funny, and he had lots of fur on his face. I was scared of him. The daddy has some fur on his face but not as much. The stranger helped the daddy put the tree on top of the car. Then, everyone got back into the car and drove home.
When we got home, the daddy and the mommy carried the tree into the house and put it in the living room. The mommy got out a big box and started handing the boy and the girl and the daddy chew toys.

They weren't chew toys! They were Christmas tree ornaments, so don't chew on them!

They looked like toys to me.

Trust me Arthur. They weren't toys.

Whatever you say Merlyn. The people hung the 'orglemints' on the tree. After the toys, they put on some treats.

They were candy canes, not treats.

You eat them.

They taste really good. That doesn't make them treats.

Really? You must be right because you're smart.

Of course I'm right. I'm always right.

Merlyn! The mommy just called us. We've got to go to bed now.

I'm coming.

Bye, bye everybody!