When I cry myself to sleep at night
It occurs to me that I should fight
But then I'm struggling enough, to just
Keep myself together for as long as I must
My pain is like a white-hot knife
Slicing through this violent life
Leaving me crawling in the dirt
Pushing through all this hurt
Maybe once the worst is through
I'll be worth something to you
But by then will I even care?
When right now you're not there,
How lonely must I be,
Before I can mean something to you?
No point in staying true
But it's the only thing I can do
It's what I'm used to
I don't know what this is about
Why I feel so full of doubt
Like a fist is squeezing my heart
Like the pain has only just made a start
Is it just shit?
Why don't I quit?
Maybe there is something more
Just out of reach, behind that door
Well I'm gonna stay around to see
Not gonna let god fucking bother me