When I cry myself to sleep at night

It occurs to me that I should fight

But then I'm struggling enough, to just

Keep myself together for as long as I must

My pain is like a white-hot knife

Slicing through this violent life

Leaving me crawling in the dirt

Pushing through all this hurt

Maybe once the worst is through

I'll be worth something to you

But by then will I even care?

When right now you're not there,

For me?

How lonely must I be,

Before I can mean something to you?

No point in staying true

But it's the only thing I can do

It's what I'm used to

I don't know what this is about

Why I feel so full of doubt

Like a fist is squeezing my heart

Like the pain has only just made a start

Is it just shit?

Why don't I quit?

Maybe there is something more

Just out of reach, behind that door

Well I'm gonna stay around to see

Not gonna let god fucking bother me