A Hypocritical Poem

I'm tired, so tired
Of digging deep through my emotions
I'm tired, so tired
Of all of my poetic expressions
I want to smash every eloquent word
Break the lines until they're blurred

I'm lost, so lost
Poetic ramblings lose me further
I'm lost, so lost
Reborn, then die, each line is murder
I want to burn every notebook, every page
Black everything else out with singular rage

I'm scared, so scared
Expiate in only page and ink
I'm scared, so scared
Of fictional thoughts, as I overthink
I want to tear all these pages apart
Just to mimic the tears in my heart

Hypocritical
Poems I write
To match this
Hypocritical life
Hypocritical
poems I still write
To match my
Hypocritical life

I want to break the contradiction
I want to smash all my conviction
I want to burn all of this diction
Just so I can live in peace
Without my own tragic fiction