In the silences
In the quiet places
In the peaceful spaces

Is where I find the pain
Over and over again
The brutal softness
Surrounded by nothingness

Screaming as loud as I can
Hearing nothing at all
Deaf to my own voice
Feeling otherworldly
Feeling alien to myself

I am see through
All that is solid is the hurt
The melody of suffering
Skin transparent
But you can see the torment
In my veins
My heart is visible
When the rest of me is lost
And it beats in time
In time with a rhythm I hear

Heart beat
Means nothing to me
All it means is that
I can see
Everything that I did
All that I've done wrong
Is all that's left of me
And it won't stop beating
Even after all the rest
Has faded
A
w
a
y
.

05/27/2004