Not To

Can a person really be ice?

Unable to care about anyone else?

You proved it to be true

Nails decked in black

Sinfully soft dark curls

Flowing across your pale skin

Semi-concealing your gray eyes

Deepened with mascara

Darkened with liner

You were so beautiful

I died within

You were 'otherkin'

You told me you didn't

Belong here, with me

But you told me in that way

And I cried for more of you

I cried for the only girl

Who could love another girl

Let alone me

Why did I cry?

For my tainted innocence

Why did I lash out?

Call you what I did

Why was I so afraid?

Why did I convince you to leave?

I know it's my fault you left

And you know it too

I know by the way you hate me

By the way you love him

By the way you speak

By the way you don't

I want to let you go

But I hold you 'one last time'

To keep myself real

To keep myself here

But I'd rather watch you

Be happier with him

Than you'll ever be with me

I'd rather let you live

Without ever thinking of me

Than miss a moment of your life

Than not be with you in some way

Even if it means nothing to you