Act I

that feeling inside me
intangible faith touched
pain in my flesh
fire force
aside and opened
flinching of tremors
flaunting the pink

how i familiar myself with Its
contour and size

thrusting force known directed this way
act like
It comes inside
so naturally

Its belonging and attribution to existence
will bring delusion to level
the pain

Act II

our souls
are all tainted
to His touch
is the devil humane
His fluids in me
streaks me sinner
and i am no saint
martyr nor holy
not even those hopefuls
come through
die us not pure please
die us not truth
it is not our right
sinners relenting
perhaps if i speak it
i can make it mine


god you haven't come through yet
i'm bare backed pavement against me
asphalt pressure burn scrapes my skin
bloodline trace the map of shadows
pores the breath beneath my soul
this ride moves me a little too fast for pleasure
blood sex liquid diamonds have different pathways
expanding my motel nine to burst
i did not intend to crucify me
I did not intend to spread
i'm trying to think those holy thoughts
put almighty lord first in my head
but lucifer
he never looked so true
his demigod upon me
and i haven't yet
had my own miracle

Act IV

this angel supposedly touched my soul
saved me from destruction
but his hand between my legs holds might
pressing to a point too tight
bruises bled the veins
his gun's cold shock cock against my temple held
metal casing of eternal hell
i ask not to create this pain
my mind spins with hallucinogens
watch reality fade
gives me time
i ask for fairy tales
and little prayers form
deliver me to a holy land
where the sun can tan me warm
this father
my son
and his holy ghost
brought no light inside my head
superficial on their thrones
come down upon me hard
it is not a matter of faith in saviours
survival is this game
strength and battle for surrender
this weakness lies in me

Act V

not an angel true to my being
shattered wings and cast down halo
i would take life, and i would spare me
but i do not control this fate
this satan child riding up my stomach
He is the feel of truth
watch the graveyards from my windows
my church and steeple fell

all the little girls are now falling down prey
watch them burn her seed
His matter's weight comes forced on hers
Burning touch shoves inside
Heat of his body thrusts against hers
chemical reaction produces heat

(what chemical is this
that has him forcing his needs
inside my pit?)

behold the crest of His evil
baring her with pride
down in the dirt just waiting to burn
she's forced along for the ride


breath comes gasping with pleas i muster
my heroics lost in the possession of another
the gleam dulled my orbs' chip glint
the time of justice dawns
but no one brings me from the torture

i'm still waiting for my own deliverance


the sky doesn't open to a holy hand
so im wondering if they'll send me back
when the sun falls on the third day's dusk
if i yell stop and struggle just a little
His power challenged
rage blur pulls the trigger
but realization tells me christ is more worthy
my heart not opened an offering
no choir crashes clouds of thunder
no father to bring me home
no promise of a better tomorrow
for i'm not of stories told
silence engulfs this child with fear

i will not rise again


so I close my eyes, and with last existent effort
ice tipped piercing numb the pain dull the light
with the last of conscience prayer
reach for what I can't touch
desperate longing fills my soul
eyes squeezed shut, fists clenched tight
in the shadows of the untouchables
broken angels hold on for the ride
silent screams echo a dread filled throat
bitter taste fail deliverance
ice slips fire hot inside
tears freeze hell sent way

promises made under the influence of faith
slip away
break my soul
something dark looms in phantom grasp
saying farewell to my saviours at last

Act IX

silence cracks with reality force
His panting rush my ear
faster FASTER
hurried for release
thrusting harder HARDER
good god i'm splitting please
"darling dear, best you hold on"
"this life so precious is mine happy gun"
venom spat in silent ear
draws us closer here
angel please
let's all play pretend
say we aren't here
and i can't see the light now
sharpened nails dig into flesh
but just shut out the screams
say it's not our tears
let's wash away
tainted love
eyes glaze over all empty in daze
something empties inside
it isn't here
if it isn't here
oh just say it isn't here!
cling to the cross where you pierced my heart
it bleeds through liquid slide
down the valley of my legs
slice things up, my sugar and spice
here it comes
here it comes
god i feel it rip!
break it down
break it down
everything shatters
girl let it not matter


and I'm not really there
not pinned under a crushing guilt
locks us within ourselves
something warm is pulling out
blood's on empty rush inside
I cling on as nails dig in
and I think of paradise

note: intentional misspellings for the sake of meaning are noted throughout ACT II, and elsewhere too, perhaps

end note: in "Angel Sanctuary"-Jibrielle (Gabriel) is the only one of the four element angels that is female

the title of the poem is derived from "Harlan's Race"