The Stupidest Muffin 2: Olga's Diner

Kuffufin and Apple walked for a long time in Muffin City. The sky was still dark, but it had stopped raining. They made no lefts or rights. They walked straight for a long, long time. Apple probably would like me to say that they walked in complete silence, but they didn't. Kuffufin was talking the entire time about his philosophies on life, death, and the three meals of the day. All this talking about the three meals of the day made him hungry. That, and the fact that they had been walking for a long, long, time. So, they walked into his (not Apple's, not at all) favorite restaurant in the entire city. The name of the restaurant was Olga's Diner. It was old, run down, and the food was terrible. The service was terrible, too.
The head cook, and only waitress, Olga, was not very nice to talk to, or to look at. She was an elderly, rather large, Russian woman who knew very little English. Apple could never understand what she was saying, but he figured it could not be too complimentary. Kuffufin thought Olga was the greatest thing ever to walk the Earth. I don't think Olga liked Kuffufin very much, or Apple either, but they came in all the time.
So, Kuffufin pushed the door open to Olga's Diner, and they both walked in. The little bells on the door chimed. The diner was completely deserted. The cash register was on the other side of the room, in the left hand corner opposite the entry. There were small tables for two scattered throughout the room. Straight ahead were the bar stools and the counter where Kuffufin and Apple never sat to eat. Kuffufin did, however, always talk to Olga from one of those seats. Even if Kuffufin and Apple were sitting down eating, Kuffufin would jump up from his seat and plop down on one of the bar stools to talk to Olga. Apple found it kind of strange, but they came there so often, and Kuffufin talked to Olga so often while they were eating, he had become used to it.
So, Kuffufin and Apple walked into Olga's Diner and Kuffufin yells, "Olga, it's us!" He gets no response. Apple wonders why he always yells for her. Every time they go to Olga's Diner, Kuffufin and Olga go through the same routine. Kuffufin calls for Olga and gets no response. Kuffufin calls a few more times and gets no response. Kuffufin finally goes into the kitchen and Olga just happens to be coming out at the same time. Kuffufin smashes into Olga and Kuffufin goes flying across the room.
This visit was no exception. After a few more times of calling for Olga, Kuffufin walked into the kitchen. Apple had been getting bored of this routine, so he watched a fly on the ceiling. Apple heard a large crashing sound. The fly flew off the ceiling. Apple didn't even bother to look over and tend to Kuffufin. He just sat down at the same table they always sat at - the one in the corner. Eventually, Kuffufin came over to the table and dropped into the open chair, panting. The silverware flew off the table and onto the floor. A knife fell right on Kuffufin's foot. All the silverware was very old and dull, so the knife couldn't have hurt too much. Still, Kuffufin was howling and jumping around the table.
When he got a hold of himself he said, "Apple, did you see that? I was going into the kitchen see, to find Olga, when."
"When Olga just happened to be coming out of the kitchen and you smashed right into her. You came flying across the room, and then came over here and made all the silverware fall off the table and onto your foot," said Apple in a dull tone.
"Yes, yes, that's right. So let's see what we'll have now," Kuffufin said, as he opened up a menu.
Olga had come over to the table and was now standing over them frowning, with a small notebook in her hand. People always seemed to be frowning at them.
"He'll have soup and a cold beverage, and I'll have eggs and a glass of nice, cold water," Apple said. Kuffufin made a motion as if he were going to protest, but Apple said, "Oh stop your whining. We have the same thing every time we come here."
Olga looked over at Apple and said, "We don't have nice, cold water. But we do have terrible, room temperature, tap water."
Apple replied by saying, "That will be fine."
Apple and Kuffufin had a deep conversation about love, happiness, and country music while they waited for their food. About two hours later, Olga returned from the kitchen. She had changed her outfit, and Kuffufin swore that her hair was a different color. But nonetheless the food came, and Olga almost threw the food onto the table. She frowned at them and stomped back into the kitchen, mumbling something in Russian under her breath.
Kuffufin looked down at his food and then at Apple and said, "Have you noticed that people have been frowning at us a lot lately?"
"Yes, yes I have," Apple replied. He then looked down at his food and scowled. His face changed color as if he had just changed from a Macintosh to a Red Delicious. On his plate were two green eggs and a big piece of green ham. He screamed at the top of his tiny little lungs for Olga and, surprisingly, she came out in less than two minutes.
Apple steamed, "These eggs are rotten. I didn't even order ham. And I didn't get my terrible, room temperature tap water! What kind of diner are you trying to run here?"
"Oh no, no, no, you do not understand," said Olga. And then she did the unthinkable. She smiled. She smiled quite warmly, in fact. "This is green eggs and ham," said Olga motioning to the food on Apple's plate. "It is a traditional meal of my country," she said.
"And where exactly is that? Whoville?" screamed Apple.
"But if you try them, you will love them!" she said kindly.
"Now listen here," said Apple. "I would not like them here or there. I would not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Olga ma'am!"
When Apple finished Olga burst into tears and ran into the kitchen. Kuffufin was shocked. He had never seen such disrespect in his entire life. "I have never seen such disrespect in my entire life," he said. "This poor, poor woman was trying to introduce you to something delicious out of the kindness of her heart, and you just said no. You seriously just said no. Seriously," said Kuffufin.
"And how would you know?" asked Apple.
"Because I read about it in Martha Stewart's magazine!" said Kuffufin.

"We're leaving," said Apple.
"But." started Kuffufin. He then looked down at his plate. On it sat a piece of burnt toast. "Okay, fine," said Kuffufin, and he got up from his seat. He left a three-dollar tip on the table and walked towards the door. Apple followed. Kuffufin looked outside. It was raining.