Chapter 1

Samantha Devlin was twenty-three and a single mother of a four year old daughter, sort of

It was early morning around eight. Sami- what everyone called her- was already awake and dressed in a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. She tied her jet black shoulder length hair into a pony tail and left her bedroom. She walked down the short hall to Lily's bed room. Every morning she would watch her daughter sleep, not believing she was a mother and that beautiful little girl belonged to her.

It was a Thursday and Sami's sister, Suzanne was coming to pick up Lily in a couple of hours so her daughter, Lily's cousin could spend some time together. Suzanne was four years older then Sami and one of her closest friends.

Sami stood at Lily's doorframe for another few minutes before she started to wake up, Lily was always an early bird. Sami walked inside the bedroom as she opened her eyes.

"Hey mommy." Lily said with her cheery little girl voice as she sat up in her bed that was covered in a sky blue pattern.

"Are you excited to see Molly? They'll be here in a couple of hours." Sami explained as Lily stood from her bed, revealing her duck pajamas.

"I know." Sami started pulling out her outfit for today. "Am I seeing grandma too?" she asked with a hopeful voice.

"Yes, later tonight." Sami answered with a smile. Her mother called last night and made sure later today she came over. Sam's parents only lived twenty minutes away, above the Bar her father owned.

Sami dressed Lily in a pair of purple pants with a pink t-shirt. She combed Lily's brown hair which she got from her father, her eyes too, her sky blue eyes that would always remind Sami of him. He would always be in her mind because of Lily and of course because he was the love of her life.

Once downstairs, Sami headed into the kitchen to make breakfast as Lily played in the living room. Sami headed to the pantry to grab what she needed as she heard a knock on the door, she figured it was Suzanne.

"I'll get it!" Lily called out before Sami's could stop her, she had the door open while Sami was still in the kitchen. She shook her head, Lily was as stubborn as she was at that age. "Daddy!"

Sami's heart stopped, she hadn't seen who was at the door, she froze in her steps. It couldn't be him, she thought but it was just like him to just show up, he's been doing it for years. She heard the front door shut, she wouldn't let her self freak out, this was normal in some crazy world, in Sami Devlin's world.

She walked out the kitchen and sure enough it was him, his dark brown hair, really blue eyes that pulled the strings of her heart. She saw Lily's face, she was so happy, but her face when he left, that image broke Sami's heart more then him leaving and that was a lot of pain.

"Mommy, daddy' here." Lily pointed out as she held his hand.

"I see." Sami said to her little girl as she crossed her arms. "Lily, why don't you go upstairs and make sure you have everything ready for when Suzanne comes."

"Ok." Lily said reluctantly as she headed for the stair case.

"Don't run." Sami called out to her as she watched Lily march upstairs. Once she was gone and Sami was sure she couldn't hear, she looked at him. "Seven months between now and your last visit, that's a record considering it use to be at least two years in between. What are you doing here?" she sounded as bitter as she felt.

"What am I always doing here? I wanted to see you and Lily." He explained.

"No, Ford, there's always another reason, always has been." Sami pointed out as she walked back into the kitchen, he followed. Martin Ford and Samantha Devlin had known each other since they were kids, her nine and him eleven. Their parents had been close and when his parents had been killed in a car accident he moved in with the Devlin's at the age of fourteen.

"You're right." Martin said as he watched her prepare some scrambled eggs. "I do have some stuff to take care of."

" It's always the same, I've realized that by now but this time I won't let you use me, that's over. I can't stop you from seeing Lily; I wouldn't want to do that to her but I can stop you from touching me." She said tightly as she purposely avoided looking at him. She wanted to believe she was over his charm but as well as she tried to lie to him, she couldn't lie to herself.


Martin smiled. "Is that what you really want?" he asked as he walked up behind her.

"Stop." Sami whispered when he moved her pony tail away from her neck and kissed her skin as he put his hands around her waist. She closed her eyes, she could never get away from him. She needed to remember her reason for needing to push Martin Ford out of her life, her reason walked into the kitchen and she pulled away from him.

"Mommy I can't find the bracelet grandma gave me." Lily said, looking up at her mother with big blue eyes.

"It should be on top of my dresser." Sami said and Lily ran off to go look. She turned around. "You can't do that anymore, I'm serious. Lily can't see us together and get the wrong idea, it's hard enough explaining why you leave so much, I don't even get it and don't say work because you never explain what it is you do." she said to him as she went back to making breakfast with her hands shaking from the damn desire he brought out.

Martin leaned against the counter. "What wrong idea would Lily be getting?"

"The same I used to; one day you'd stay forever and I could really be happy." Sami explained with a weak smile as she looked at him, he caused her so much pain but when he was around it was bitter sweet because it would be ok again, not this time, she wouldn't get sucked back in. "And I don't want her to think something is happening with us, that her parents are getting together, that's not the case, never really was." she looked away from him.

"You used to understand why I leave as much as I do." He worked in many different country's but no one knew what it was he did that let him have a comfortable life style. Everyone would ask but he never said, just promised it wasn't against the law.

"I'm done understanding Ford." Sami said. "How long are you staying?"

"I'm not sure yet." He answered.

Sami figured as much. "Where are you staying? Wait let me guess; at my parents." she said. There was a back room at the Bar that had been Martin's room since he was fourteen, when he came back into town, that's where he stayed. The Devlin's treated him like one of there own, maybe better.

"Yeah, I already talked to them." Martin said.

"That would explain why my mother was hell bent on having me over tonight, she knew you'd be in town, that's great." Sami sarcastically said. "Lily's leaving with Suzanne after she eats, there's really isn't a reason for you to still be here." she said as she set the table.

"You want me to go? Scared I'll touch you again and everything you said about us being over goes out the window?" He asked. He wanted her, always had but never pushed. He never wanted to leave her, he did really love her but when he'd say it she never quite believed it, which was understandable.

"No, that's not going out the window, that before was a mistake and I was caught off guard, that won't happen again. Like I said, you can see Lily all you want, come to all the family dinners you want just like you do when you're in town but this time you won't be getting me in to bed." Sami explained in her matter of fact tone.

It wasn't the first time she tried to stay away from him but this was the first time she was fed up beyond upset and hurt, she couldn't take it any longer. She vowed her and Martin Ford would never be romantically involved again, but it would be hard and she knew that, they had been at this game since she was sixteen.

"Ok." Martin said. "If that's what you want."

Sami turned and looked him in his really blue eyes. "I'm serious." she warned.

"I said ok. Sami I never forced you to do anything you didn't want to."

"No, I'm not blaming you for me being an idiot, you just helped it along. I knew you wouldn't be around a lot, as much as I wanted you to but every time you came back home I fell into that pattern, as if you never left, over and over and then I got pregnant and I realized I can't be that naïve little girl anymore, I have a little girl and it took me four years of her life to realize I'm not the best mother when I'm with you and you leave, I become closed off and that's not fair to her." Sami explained from the heart, she loved Martin more then anything but she loved her daughter more, their daughter.

"I hope it works out for you." Martin said.

Sami saw his face, she knew him. "But you're not going to make it easy for me to stay away from you while you're here." she guessed.

"I don't know, I guess we're going to have to wait and see."