Prayer of a Non-Believer


Dear God
I've never prayed to You before
I don't even know You
As a matter of fact
I don't think You know me, either
But You are All-Knowing
Aren't you?

Dear God
I'm supposed to have faith in you
To trust You
To believe in You
But what's the point
When everything I have faith in
When everything I trust
When everything I believe in
Is twisted
Mangled
Destroyed beyond repair?

Dear God
Someone's dying
Someone I know
But that doesn't make much of a difference
Does it?
Someone's screaming every second
Someone's dying every second
Someone's in pain every second
What makes me think
That one more person screaming
One more person dying
One more person in pain
Would make any difference
To You?

Dear God
Do You know how it is
To scream in pain
To live in pain
And to die in pain?
I admit I don't
I don't know how real pain feels
I don't know how it feels
Physically
Emotionally
Perhaps You've lived in heaven for so long
That You've forgotten how to feel
Perhaps You are All-Knowing
But not All-Feeling

Dear God
Who are we to you?
What do we mean to you?
Are we
Mere puppets
Mere tools
Or something created out of an accident?
Are we
An hour's diversion
A minute's distraction
Or a second's manipulation?
Are we
The chess pieces on your chessboard of Earth
The toys in Heaven's kindergarten
Or the heathens saved from Hell?

Dear God
Billions of people are praying for help
What makes me think that You are listening
To my little prayer
Or rather
My little rant?
Perhaps it is faith
Perhaps it is trust
Perhaps it is hope
Shallow faith
Shallow trust
And shallow hope
Stemmed from desperation
And branched from fear

Dear God
I don't know if You exist
There are billions of Believers out there
I don't know if I'm one of them
You don't know if I'm one of them, either
They are calling for help
Just like me

Dear God
Everyone says
"God is waiting for the right time
To do the right thing."
"Have faith in God."
"Believe."
"Hope."
"Trust."
Well
I'm tired of believing
I'm tired of hoping
I'm tired of trusting
I'm tired of waiting for the right time
Because I don't even know
If there would be a right time
For everything

Dear God
Do You love those
Who don't believe
Who don't hope
Who don't trust
And who don't have faith?
Do You forgive them?

Dear God
Is Death Your punishment to mankind
Or Your gift?
If it is a gift
Then why let so many die in pain?
If it is a punishment
Then isn't the end of living
Enough?

Dear God
Do you offer those who sin
Any clemency at all?
Did you not preach
That we should forgive and forget?
Perhaps you do
Perhaps your clemency
Is found in your punishment
Perhaps your punishment
Is to right the wrong
Perhaps to be changed
Is the clemency
That the sinners deserve
If pain was a punishment
Then does that mean
That pain rights the wrong?

Dear God
People live
And people die
Every hour
Every minute
Every second
And I know that
After all
It's the way of life
But what about suffering?

Dear God
I feel like a hypocrite
Talking about suffering
Talking about hurt
Talking about being in pain
When I've never suffered
I've never hurt
And I've never been in pain before
Have You?
Perhaps you can answer my questions
You are All-Knowing
After all

Amen.

Author's Note: Yes, I know it's odd and lousy and just weird. And by the way, I'm an atheist, so please do not be offended if I sent out any wrong messages with this poem. I hope I didn't write any thing offensive, because I've absolutely nothing against religion. I wrote it when I was rather depressed. But anyway, REVIEW!!