A Closer Look at the GOTU Charries: Aycan

Moroni: Hello, and welcome once again to your favorite program, A Closer Look at the GOTU Characters!

Random Audience Member: … Who're you?

Moroni::glares at RAM:: I'm Moroni, and I apologize for the gap between chapters. This story is now officially on hiatus, and you'll just have to deal with it.

RAM: Oh.

Moroni: Anyway. Today we will focus on Aycan: the incredibly sexy and powerful villain who is not lame and weak like Qualcon.

Qualcon::still stuck in bear hole from Aycan, Myila and Harry Potter?!?!?":: Damn you! Damn you all::sobs::

Moroni: And, since Aycan has such a large and important part in the story, I have two lovely assistants to … well … assist me.

Li-Chan: Hewwo!

Evil Andy: Ha ha ha! DOOM.

Moroni: … Doom?

Evil Andy: Indeed.

Moroni: All righty, then.

Evil Andy: Shall we continue?

Moroni: Yes, I think we shall. Onward!

Li-Chan: We burn daylight!

Moroni: Damn! We used that joke in a previous chapter.

Li-Chan: …So?

Moroni: Good point.

Li-Chan: Anyway.

Moroni: Back to Aycan.

Evil Andy: Indeed.

Moroni: Ahem. Aycan grew up on a farm in Okalahoma where he was cast as a cameo role in the musical of the same name. His mother always taught him to share, but he disregarded this advice and refused to share his fluffy pink bunny slippers with his brother, Alvin, who one day tragically died in a freak accident involving a spoon, a wheelbarrow, and a fox named Ransom. Aycan was harrowed by guilt for not sharing, so he ran away, ended up on Tahara and decided to drown his sorrows in evildoings.

Li-Chan: o.O;

Evil Andy: LIES! ALL LIES!

Moroni: Yes, but it's a pretty good lie, don't you think?

Evil Andy: Hmm. Indeed, it is.

Moroni: Truth be told, I don't know a damn thing about Aycan's childhood. But, I

figured our ratings would go up if I made it seem dramatic.

Li-Chan: Ah. Shall we move on to things we are knowledgeable about?

Evil Andy: Indeed.

Moroni: All right! So! Aycan is tall, humanoid, and very, very sexy.

Evil Andy: HLLZ YEAH!

Moroni: He once dated Aliasa, but she dumped him for Xantos.

Li-Chan: Only after she found out Aycan was an evil psychopath.

Moroni::nods:: However, that's not what Aycan says. If you'd like to hear his side of these events, please reference The Story You've Never Heard.

Li-Chan: … Shamelessly plugging for your own stories, Moroni? How awful!

Evil Andy: IT WAS A GOOD STORY. I APPROVE OF THIS PLUG.

Moroni: Hah! I win!

Evil Andy: Indeed.

Li-Chan: … Whatever.

Moroni: Anyway … Aycan carries what Any describes as a three-foot-long hunting knife. But, in my opinion, once a knife is that long, it ceases to be a knife and is actually a rather skinny sword.

Evil Andy: It's a knife.

Li-Chan: Actually, hun, I'm with Moroni on this one. It's a sword.

Evil Andy: It's knife, dammit!

Moroni and Li-Chan: It's a sword.

Evil Andy: IT'S A KNIFE! RAWR::runs off to throw sleeping bags off a cliff while screaming like an insane wrestler::

Moroni: Damn. That's an old joke, too.

Li-Chan: It's still funny.

Moroni: Indeed.

Li-Chan: Should I go after her?

Moroni: Naw, I need at least one lovely assistant to keep the ratings up.

Li-Chan: All right. How about a diagram?

Moroni: Good plan!

Li-Chan: I'm good at this game! D

Moroni::pulls down a diagram from the ceiling:: Regardez! Aycan!

Li-Chan: … that's a picture of a butt.

Moroni: Indeed.

Li-Chan: … Oh. It's a joke?

Moroni: Yes.

Li-Chan: … Oh.

Moroni: But it's not just any butt! This is Aycan's ass.

Li-Chan: Incredibly sexy ass!

Moroni: Indeed. Let me prove it to you::holds a magnifying glass up to the diagram:: Observe this miniscule tattoo. It reads, "I 3 Aliasa".

Li-Chan: Fascinating.

Moroni: Indeed. And now! Our guest speaker!

Drums::roll::

Moroni: Aycan himself!

Aycan::walks in looking bored and very, very sexy indeed::

RAM::claps, but realizes that no one else is clapping, slows and stops. Coughs::

Li-Chan: Woah. There's way too much sexy on this stage. I'm going to go find Andy.

Moroni: All right. Bye!

Li-Chan::Exits::

Moroni: Now, Aycan. Would you care to tell us about yourself?

Aycan: Well, first, I am very, very sexy.

Moroni::nods::

Aycan: And evil.

Moroni::nods::

Aycan: And sexy.

Moroni: And what about your plans for the future?

Aycan: Well … I plan to … ::grabs Moroni:: Take you hostage, gain control of this story, and thus the Unknown, and through the Unknown, Tahara AND Scaro!

Moroni: … There's a huge gap in your logic there.

Aycan: … Logic?

Moroni: Nevermind.

Aycan: And now … I cackle maniacally. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Evil Andy::bursts in:: WHAT?! YOU GOT A TATTO ON YOUR ASS THAT SAYS, "I 3 ALIASA"?! YOU'RE SUCH A PUSS!

Aycan: Gah! WTF?! I did no such thing!

Evil Andy: YES YOU DID. MORONI SAID SO!

Aycan: Moroni's a dirty liar!

Evil Andy: HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY FRIEND! YOU'RE SUCH AN ASS!

Moroni: Haha! See? My diagram was accurate!

Evil Andy::proceeds to kick the crap out of Aycan::

Aycan::drops Moroni and tries to defend himself. Evil Andy and Aycan end up falling off the stage and take the fight outside::

Moroni: Sweet! Violence! That will totally boost my ratings!

Li-Chan: I couldn't find her. Sorry. Where'd Aycan go?

Moroni: … Um … long story. I'll fill you in after this chapter.

Li-Chan: Okay! D

Moroni: Well, there you have it folks. Aycan!

Li-Chan: Until next time!

Moroni: Indeed.

Li-Chan: Dude, what is with that word? It's said 10 times in this story.

Moroni: Indeed.

Li-Chan: WTF?

Moroni: D

-End-