When I was a girl, and I told a lie
My mum would get angry, and then she would cry.
How could I lie to her, after all she had done!
An ungrateful girl who learnt guilt from her mum.

When I was a girl and I wanted my mum
She would vacuum, and I'd suck my thumb.
One day she was vacuuming, flustered and red.
'Don't marry or have children,' to her daughter she said.

When I was a teen and I answered back
First she'd go red, and then she'd attack.
Her house, her rules, for she as adult
Bent not to compromise, and nothing her fault.

At 7 my innocence bade me farewell.
I wanted to say, but had no-one to tell.
At 10 I spent hours in front of my glass.
Thought no boy would like me, but just let it pass.
At 12 I despaired of meaning or perk.
My ignorance saved me, my noose didn't work.
13- she's depressed, my father has gone.
I stay though she bugs me - I'm the only one.
14- she goes out, I cope on my own.
She's anxious now - panic attacks over the phone.
16- new husband, and new life too.
Throws me out of the house, I guess I'm not new.

My childhood memories are dim in my mind,
More recent impressions are clearer I find.
Like her second childhood, when I grew old
And her second adulthood, when I grew cold.