Are these my words slipping off my tongue?
What am I saying?
Where is my self-control, my dignity?
Where is my pride?

No, no it is not I; I would never be like this
No, I love him I would never.

It is I.
I have hurt him.
Damn my accursed coldness and lack of control
Damn my lack of perceptive!

What have I done?
He is too good a soul, when did I become so vindictive?

I let myself become this way.
I let myself lose compassion
And be capable of this damage
This callous murder of someone's happiness

What has come to pass?
Is this who I am?
Will I succeed in my unholy quest?
Will I drive away all that seek to love me?
Will I lust after this pain that comes from cruelty?
Will I revel in it?

Dear God, will I become Malice itself?