The laborious tasks on my last day
I'm not afraid anymore.
I'm ready for death
I can take whatever it throws at me
I can't take my peers anymore
Though they are my friends
I'm calm...
I look outside
And I think.
I want to die in the rain
Cutting myself.
And feeling the 'water' run down my spine
After cutting my arm.
I want to die in a moment of fictitious happiness
The delicate drizzle calming me down
Content that I've made the right choice
Because my world is just bland
Now that love is gone...
I get excited
For I think that it's the person that I will love.
But they aren't the problem...
I'm tired of fighting against the mirror everyday
I'm tired of me
I'm tired of him
I'm tired...
And each morning I wake up thinking
And even hoping that I'm dead.
And subconsciously, I dream of nothing
And think I've died, and can't help but smile.
My nightmare,
Is when I wake up...
I'm tired of the "happy" people
I wish not to deceive anymore
As I realize.
I can never be happy
It's just one of those things
That you live with
Or don't...
I'm tired of surviving
I wish it was all over
I'd do anything for it to be over
I'd kill...
If it meant half a chance.
Of nothing...
I'm tired of holding onto that one thread
You try my life for one day
And you'd end up dead...
I'm tired...
I'm tired of listening to music that brings me 'happiness'
But mostly I'm tired of talking to people that are afraid to stop me
I'm tired of talking to a friend of mine,
She just depresses me more
She thinks that she's helping me
When all she's doing is pushing me over...
And I hope.
And I hope.
And I hope.
But I'm so tired...