Sullen
© 2004 Black Tangled Heart

I cry when the milk spills and seeps across
The polished table, and
I cry when the glass breaks like
A dream in my hand, so
I have nothing left but shards in my skin
I am dirtied by the world

I run through the concrete jungle with
No leafy canopy to block the sunlight
On pale shoulders, copper hair
I trip on the cracks in the sidewalk
And fly forward
Uncontrollable, clumsy, humiliated
And in my palms and on my knees
Is gravel and blood
I am sullied, sullen

I dance when there's no one to notice mistakes
When the music is mine; when I am
Within myself, unreachable
Raising my arms, leaping, collapsing
Spinning spinning spinning spinning

When the music stops, I am
Deaf, dumb
Dirtied, sullen

I look at my breasts in my mirror and say
Am I a woman or am I a little girl?

I cry and I run and I dance
I scream
To break glass and cut skin and
Leap, collapse

And I rise from the floor with blood on my hands, on my knees
In my eyes

Pale shoulders, copper hair

Dirty

Sullen

I look at my eyes in the mirror and say
Am I a woman or am I a little girl?