And she screamed.
It echoed throughout her lungs, stealing away her air. Rebounding off the
wind's own howls of anger.
She collapsed in a heap on the rain soaked grass, shivering from fury and
hopelessness.
Her hands griped her hair in a half-hearted rage, willing to bite, kick and
bleed. Scream until she collapsed and blacked out.
But she sat there, curled up, rain socking through her jumper.
Whimpering into the futureless night ahead.
She had no energy and no purpose.
Her tears mixed with the rain with the blood that should be.
But she did not bleed; she did nothing to harm herself. She hurt too much
on the inside.
She would die for the time god came to take her away, as she would never
dare to take her own life. She could stand in front of a passing car; she
could climb the highest tree and make that leap for freedom that everyone
wills for.
But she stayed there, the raindrops her only comfort, sending her shivering
to the bone.
Aching with memory and deceit, of love. How she hated that word, how she
wanted to erase it from peoples lips. She wanted to rip it from people's
hearts and send it to the darkness of the night. Not even the stars would
light up with its presence.
She lifted her head to the velvet sky, and the sprinkling of stars, wishing
them all out, surround her in blackness, take her breathe away.
She whispered to herself.
'I'm just about ready to give up, tell me your message to god, and I'll
deliver it tonight.'

By Siobhan
Date: 14/June/2004