"Hmph, didn't expect to see you out here."

"I can say the same, but that wouldn't be true." I smirked to myself, gazing out across the water lining the wharf. My arms folded over the rail separating me from a world of shifting, swirling water dark as the night sky above. Street lamps lit the path behind me, merely ripples of light in the bay's reflection. I leaned toward Blackout to speak to him, though I kept my gaze on the water. "I expected you out here because-- well you know why."

He heaved a deep sigh, planted his arms on the rail, and pressed forward. Leaning forward he replied, "Yeah, I guess that makes sense." He jerked his arms and vaulted off backward a few steps, looking to the sky with a discontent snort. "Why are you here, though?"

"I'm waiting for someone, though I doubt she'll come."

"It's a girl?"

My face and ears turned a slight red. "Yeah."

I could hear him chuckling behind me. "So tell me, what's her name?" I groaned out in embarrassed protest. This solicited another laugh from Blackout. He stomped around on the cool concrete, immediately occupied with watching dust bounce from every step.

He's easily amused, I thought to myself. "Hey, don't get too distracted so quickly!" He ignored the demand and stamped about some more, finally looking up and restating his question through his bright smile. Maybe I should have let him keep it up. "Do I really have to say?" He nodded. "Nah, I'm not saying," I teased.

"Well at least give me the first letter of her name. Maybe I know her."

More than you know, I commented to myself. "Fine, if you insist. Her name starts with an 'L'. Or an 'S'. Depends on which name you use."

"What? She's got more than one name? No, why would she have more than one name?"

"The same reason you are essentially me. One of those names is her actual name, and the other is her identity in the pseudoverse, or rather I should say in her pseudoverse. Her pseudoverse is certainly not mine, and mine is not hers. That's why I'm sure she's not coming to meet me."

"If she's not coming, then why wait?"

"Maybe she'll hear what we have to say."

"What do we have to say?"

"I don't know. I guess, that I'm thinking of her. That I would like to meet her, if for nothing else than to know who it is I've been sharing a piece of myself with. I know so little of her, and you know me-- I can't stand that. Even as we speak, because we are speaking, and acting, I am communicating to her how I feel. It's not love, not obsession, just friendly curiosity I feel." I turned to look at Blackout who was smiling mischievously, to my surprise.

"This is just like the way you acted with that girl that moved to California. What was her name, Nara?"

"Close enough," I answered ashamed and embittered. "But you shouldn't talk about her, that's done. So I really screwed that one up, at least her boyfriend never acted on those fighting words I had with him, and as far as I'm concerned, as long as he doesn't act, everything is fine."

"Wait, that's twice you've started talking about something I didn't understand. Ben, could you at least explain some of this to me?" I smirked, asking him where I should start. "Okay, what's this pseudoverse business? Is that some kind of fake universe or something?"

"Close. Each of us has a pseudoverse, I am simply the only one to recognize it as such. It is nothing more than one's imagination. If ever you spent a day, or a part of a day, being someone else in a world apart having your own adventures, you have been in your pseudoverse. No one else has direct influence over it, and in the same way you can't effect anyone else's pseudoverse. You can certainly create a replica of the person you wish to encounter in your pseudoverse, but it will not be that person unless he or she has a direct say in what happens. Your interpretation, no matter how exact, will never replace the original.

"I suppose you next question will be about the girl from California?" Blackout nodded. "Well, another section of my pseudoverse is currently constructing a dramatic reenactment of that, so as soon as I stop being lazy I will put the idea into form."

"Well, I'm thoroughly bored now. That was the longest, most pointless lecture I've had to endure for a while. Plus, it made less sense than some of those instant messenger acronyms like 'lol' and whatever the hell else."

"Oh yeah, I was going to tell you! I got some artists to make drawings of you. I think you might like them."

I dug around in my pockets and pulled out two sheets of paper, which I handed to Blackout. He took them and wandered beneath a lamp to see them more clearly. "What the hell? These don't even look like me! I mean, maybe-kinda-sorta-not-really like me, but this is just bad!"

"If you don't like them, how about we try a little reenactment of what occurred."

"You really like reenactments, don't you?"

"Not really," I answered quickly. "Anyway, turn that stiffer piece of paper over. Good."

"It's blank."

"Yup. Now turn it over again and cover all but that little corner that gives a few unspecific details. Now look at the rest. If you ask me, I'd say he did pretty well given the situation. It's not anything I'd want to showboat as the final product, but I'd say it's a pretty decent first step toward my dream." Blackout smiled smugly at me. "Yes, I still want to complete my novel and from there make an anime," I replied to his tacit remark.

"Aww, you want to make little kids' cartoons," he jibed.

"That involve maiming and nudity and foul language, yes. Well, scratch the nudity, but there will be plentiful maiming. And the dialogue will be intelligent, so maybe we should scratch the majority of the cursing, too."

"So what's the point in it if there isn't anything worth watching?"

"But that's just it! The plot will be far superior to anything Hollywood cranks out to make a buck or two off of!"

"Yuh-huh, and what plot have you developed so far?"

"Man, don't mess with me, Blackout. You're dealing with your own existence if you keep pestering me. I know the cards are stacked against me so far, but it's worth trying anyway. I might actually do this, and if I never try I will never find out if it works out. Besides, I don't have any real direction with my life besides writing some other story or going off and doing that other thing I'm not even fully dedicated to."

"God! You start talking and you don't shut up for about ten minutes! Ben, I'm gonna leave if you keep trying to feel sad for yourself and babbling on about it! You do this-- you just start talking for no reason and carry on way past the point even you know or care what you're talking about! God, now I'm doing it!" He heaved an exhausted sigh. "Just lighten up, okay? I know how hard it is for you, but I also know how easy you've got it. At least you get to stay home and flop around like there's no rush on anything. You can't gripe about how hard life has been to you."

"I know, and I wasn't trying to gripe just now. I just thought maybe we should have a talk, is all."

"I understand. Well, thank you for inviting me out here. It's a lovely night, and I needed a break from all that bleak darkness at the back of your mind."

I whimpered uneasily and gazed at the stars above. "Yeah, it is nice out, isn't it?"

"Yeah."

~~~~~~~~~~

I apologize if this makes very little sense. Hopefully I explained what I planned on explaining, but some of it is supposed to be a mystery. Just in case you were wondering, everything written here is true, though it may be embellished a bit. This really isn't the best I can do, I've just been lazy lately and needed something to brush up my writing with.