i will not say a thing.
i admit to nothing.

i get pulled in
so often-
i am so foolish-
the most foolish person i know.
i cannot say a word, dear.
in fact, i've said too much already.

here i am again-
staring down the waterfall.
i don't want-
i just can't-
i can't do this.
don't let me do this.
i get up just to fall again.

i refuse imperfection
in myself
i see potential that
brings me down
dreams in the sky
are what land me on the ground.
you should know that.

i am obsessive. it is compulsive. i am a disorder.
i will-
i know i will-
i'm going to-
oh, up so high
i balance on the power lines
and wait for the shock
that will bring me down.
and i will lose my hope-
nothing, no one will be able to give me hope.
{for it is my own, and only i can find it}
you'd have to have faith that
i will save myself.
(i've done it before, believe me.)
you should know that.
(i'm all over the place, aren't i?)

it always ends up more about me than who "you" is at the moment. and he never knows.

i need something like this, though-
for times when i am desperate.
i need this idea, this "you", this something,
to get me through. imagination is more motivation than the anticipation of reality, don't you think?
well, that's all you can be. that's all you can do.
{foolishness is my forte}

i cannot say a word, dear.
i've said too much already. as i always do.

i always do.