If you give a squirrel a marshmallow...

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AN: For those of you who have never heard, there is an urban legend that says if you give a squirrel several big marshmallows and then poke it, the squirrel will pop. You can see where this is going now...

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*If You Give a Squirrel a Marshmallow - Chapter 2*

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If you give the squirrel another marshmallow, he will look over it carefully to be sure that you haven't infected it with poisons, such as anthrax, and after his little sniffing episode he will take it from you greedily and begin to chow down. This site is very adorable and will cause you to giggle a little bit thinking, "You know, for a monsterous beast from beyond the grave that drinks blood and dances on rotting corpses after burning their flesh, he's pretty cute." Unknown to you, this 'monsterous beast from beyond the grave that drinks blood and dances on rotting corpses after burning their flesh' planted a remote bomb in the grass below your feet in the occasion that you would dare laugh at him again. As soon as you giggle, the furry rat will pull out a remote control with a large red button. Then he will grin and wave his left paw as he uses the right one to press the button, sending you (and a good deal of the grass) shouting explatives as you pummel towards kingdom come.

If you happen to survive the explosion, chances are that you will grab the little rodent by the neck and try to strangle him to death. Then you will stop a minute and think to yourself, "What the heck were you thinking, giving the beast another marshmallow?" Taking advantage of your apparent distraction, the squirrel will take a crunch out of the bit of flesh between your thumb and forefinger, causing you to lose your grip, shout a few more explatives, (watch that dirty mouth of yours!) and release the squirrel so that he may yet again outwit you.

By now you're pretty well put out. You will begin your search for the demonic creature so that you can tie it up in a bamboo mat, smash it until its bones are runny pulp, and throw it into a hot spring. If you see a hole in the nearby tree, it is suggested that you don't search there as it is home to an angry colony of wasps. On the other hand, if you see a trapdoor in the grass, this is definitely worth investigation, as the door leads to his secret hideout! (Not very secret now, is it?) You will reach into your pockets and surprisingly find... a bomb! Wow, you had magic pockets and you didn't even know it!

As I was saying, you will reach into your *magic pockets* and reveal a bomb, which you light and throw into the squirrel's pit of eternal dispair! Muhahahaha! And the current score is: You - one, Squirrel - nothing!

Excuse me, I was misinformed. The actual score is You - one, Squirrel - three. You've got a ways before you catch up to the furry mongrel after all...

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*End Chapter 2*

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Tn9: I don't know why I continuously say this, but please R&R! (As if you didn't get it the first time) Flames are accepted, but keep in mind - chances are, they will be returned to their original owner. I'm cruel in that way...