Apparently I'm selfish,
That I don't care about you.
How can that be possible?
When all I do is worry about you guys?
I'm always here for you,
And you all know that.
I went through depression,
And I still didn't care about myself.
I would hang around,
Listening to your problems,
I didn't mind.

But that's still not good enough,
Is it?
What ever will be?
I've been told to get over my problems that they'll go away.
I didn't need that though; I needed your support, like how I gave you mine.
I needed a friend, like how I was to you,
Someone who would listen, like I did for you.

I once cared about myself,
Yes, I blocked you off for a week,
But I needed to get better,
Can't you understand that?
I was sick of my problems,
You are the one, who never listened to me,
You are the one, who never cared about me,
You are the one who was selfish.
Not me.
Must I be on my death bed to care about myself?
Why is it, that I'm not allowed the time to get better,
Why is it that others are allowed to cry, to scream to lash out?
And I have to remain silent.
Keeping my problems to myself. Bottling them up, until I go insane.
Why is it I'm not allowed to talk about my problems?
Why must I hurt? Why must I only cry at home.alone?
Why is it, I have to care about you,
But not you about me?
Why is it I must die, before I'm allowed to care about myself?
I'm sorry; I'm resigning my job as a friend,
As I never seem to be good enough for you.

By Siobhan
Date: 25/June/2004