I love you
Don't doubt me
I say everything that will turn you on
We will get drunk watching T.V.
Then I'll take you as you are
And fuck you all night
Because you know I love you

Then I'll leave you pregnant
At 3 a.m.
Go to Vegas and screw around
Because you know I love you

Then I'll come back in 8 years and say:
"Baby how've ya been! Can I come home?"
You'll say:
"You left me with fucking triplets you ass!
I'm not letting you in my home after 8 years!"

So I'll just go back to Vegas and do it again
Hey, your loss
You lost your best man

Now I'm here
Sitting in my new home
Calling you for bail
Because now I'm in jail for molest

Did I tell you I love you yet?