These are my memories

This is my story

This is my burden

The source of my pain

The reason for my fears

This is the story of my summer

Summer of Tears


Chapter 1

Tears and Fireworks

It had been a beautiful summer day. The Fourth of July celebration had been as peaceful and commonplace as the day's weather. For everyone but Marie, that is. For Marie, the day had been full of rain clouds and heavy, deep fog.

However, she told no one of this. She didn't know what to say. Her feelings were so confused. It just didn't make sense to her. There must be something wrong with her. She must be making something out of nothing.

Quietly, she got into the car with her two cousins. They were finally going to head back to their house. Finally, this day could end.

Her uncle pulled out from the back and drove up to the side of the house where her cousin's grandfather stood.

"Goodbye," he said with a smile. Sticking his hand into the car, he reached out to Marie.

At first, she flinched, but then realizing he meant her no further harm, she took his hand and shook it. "It was nice seeing you again." She could hear him say.

She wanted to squeeze his hand. Dig her sharp nails deep into his hand. Instead, she let go. She couldn't bring herself to intentionally hurt someone else. No matter how much they deserved it.

Soon, they were driving away, back to her cousin's house. Away from that horrible place. She would never have to see his face again.

Leaning her head against the window, she tried her hardest not to think. The radio was a welcome distraction. It didn't work very long. When she didn't know the song it was hard to concentrate on the words. Her mind began to drift.

Nothing was wrong, she told herself quietly. She was just being her stupid emotional self. These thoughts couldn't stop the threatening tears. Nothing could.

And she cried. She had been fighting it all day and still she continued to. She couldn't let it all out. Not here. Not in front of her uncle and cousins.

Looking up, she prepared herself to give one of her "brave" smiles to show that she was okay. It was then that she noticed. No one had even noticed she was crying. No one even cared. She hadn't been quiet. Surely they had heard her. But there was nothing, no look of concern on their faces, not even a glance in her direction. Her uncle kept on driving quietly; Beth kept her nose in her book, Ellie in her game boy.

Turning her head back over to the window, she felt a pang of self- pity. "Invisible Tears." She whispered to herself. "No one can see my invisible tears."

But they must care! Marie thought hopefully. They just hadn't heard, that was all. Someone would ask her what was wrong. They cared about her.

Calming herself down, she reached out to her older cousin. "Um, Beth, could you please hand me a tissue?" She asked quietly.

Exiting her book, Beth looked back and handed her a tissue. No concern on her face. Not even a word.

Letting out a soft sigh, Marie tried her hardest to hide the pain. She had to. Crying the whole way home would do no one good. Besides, if someone actually did ask her what happened, what was she supposed to say? Words escaped her; she just couldn't find the right ones to describe the wrong that had been done to her.

The ride back to her cousin's house felt like forever. She knew it was probably over a two hour trip considering it had been late afternoon when they had left and now it was dark out. About a half-hour more and they would be home.

"Look at that!" Her uncle finally spoke. Marie and her two cousins looked to their right just in time to see a big green firework light up the sky.

Her cousins smiled as they looked behind them at the brilliant display of fireworks. Marie had to agree, they were beautiful. Wiping the tears from her eyes, Marie tried her hardest to smile, to feel happy, if only for a moment. She found herself unable to do it. She couldn't feel happy; she couldn't smile. And somehow, she knew it would be that way for a long, long time.

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Author's Note: Thanks so much for reading. This story is going to be extremely hard for me to share but hopefully, in telling it, it'll help me let go of the past and move forward.... I'm not sure how it'll work but I have hope. That's what counts, I guess.

Now...I've gotta thank my best friends....for all that they've done... :-)

Estel Kenobi: What can I say? You've helped me so much... Without you, I wouldn't have even thought of writing it all out....I wouldn't have even given facing my fears a second thought... You have made me brave...and I thank you for it. You are indeed my big sister, whether you want to be or not :p Thank you for being such an amazing friend, for comforting me when I cried....for not turning away... words can not express my gratitude...

Drunk on Tang: Again, I don't know what to say... You've done so much for me... You've helped me to remain who I am, even through all this. Thank you for protecting me, for being my big brother. Thank you for caring about me and cheering me up. You are an amazing person! Don't ever think otherwise!

Okay, now that I'm done thanking..... (If you actually read all that...) Now is the time to click the review button and, well, review!! ^_^ You know you want to!