Sacrifices

I feel the cold metal steel on my cold lonely skin

It was such a sensation that it made me shiver and shake

The sharp pain that flooded over my arm that used to belong to another pain

My body used to belong to the pain of loneliness and cold

And now I give my body to physical pain that seems easy to control

It takes my other arm as I slice down the middle of the white pale material

The material that has done nothing and does not deserve this

But it hurts too much to bare and we all have to make a sacrifice

My arms feel the physical pain but it does not drain out the pain that haunts me

So it slowly consumes and consumes my leg as I slice it open with the blade

Exposing crimson liquid that does not deserve to be taken out or shown

I have to do this though I can not bare it and we all have to make sacrifices

My leg stings of the pain of the cut no longer belonging to loneliness

My soul stills hurts and is shriveling from the loneliness, so I take the other

I cut more rapidly and with angry strikes and cry out in pain

I cry out in pain and no one comes running to check, because no one cares

This fact makes me more brutal and un merciful to my innocent body

It has taken over my legs and yet my soul still is dying and disappearing

So I cut at my stomach and let the crimson juice drip through more rapidly

I feel the loneliness get smaller and yet get stronger at the same time

It is growing slightly as I stop cutting it is slowly winning the shell I call my body

I realize the only way to stop the pain is to give my soul to physical pain

I realize that I have to stop my existence and give my soul physical pain

So the loneliness will lose and it will give up to pain I can control

I slowly get up as my body is so weak at the fact that it has been losing blood

I get out of the cold tub and walk to the door tripping over my pain and slipping on my loneliness

I walk to my parents cold silent kitchen and slowly pick up the knife

I remember being happy with the knife and how it has been through so many happy moments

Moments of birth day cakes being cut and making dinner for congratulations

I shove into to my cold lonely heart through my chest and pull out with one quick movement

I fall to the floor to only find out that the loneliness just got stronger

I look at the knife and it is covered by my blood

The knife did not deserve to through my chest, it did not deserve to be the weapon

But the pain was so deep and we all have to make sacrifices

I feel the room get colder as I slip to the other world and the loneliness has won

I feel the pain of only the loneliness that has become stronger than even before

"Hello I'm home." I shake as I hear my mother walk in to be welcomed by the site of her daughter

The daughter who has been there for her and she has been there for

She quickly drops the stuff and runs to my side and falls to the ground

She gives me one good squeeze as I slip away and fall to the dark

She was a good person and she didn't deserve to see me like this

The pain was overwhelming and we all have to make sacrifices

I failed to realize that the sacrifice was just too great