Hi! How are you today? Not to great? I don't blame you, considering you're about to take a very dangerous journey. You see, upon running into the fic, you have made a vow to travel to a far, far away place inside my own head, called, "Hyper-Spazzing Inc." It could just as well be called "Mia Land" but don't you think that's a bit bland? *Checks watch* Will you look at that? It's half past a freckle! Almost time to get going…

[All lights suddenly go out, except a flickering green one, for good measure]  Are you confused yet?

[Different colored lights begin flashing, and you hear evil laughing in the background]  Um, ignore that.

[You hear tortured screaming and shouts of "Don't go any further! Leave now before she gets to you!!"] *Ahem* that too.

[The screams continue: "Don't listen to her!!! She's just trying to brainwash you and hold you captive as one of her soldiers in her plan to take over the world!!!"] Shut up, people! You're taking all the fun out of my evil plot!

 [Screams turn into whimpers: "We're sorry, Mia."] Thats better.

[Suddenly all of the lights go out and everything gets quiet. You sit confused for a bit, wondering what the hell just happened.]

Wait one second, we're almost there… here, I'll floor it!

[It randomly feels like you're in a car, zooming along through the black. You hear random sounds of emus sneezing, bees buzzing, people booming things like "WELCOME TO MARYLAND!", and purple volcanoes erupting. You can obviously tell the volcanoes are purple by the sound of them]

[Eventually, everything quiets down, and it no longer feels like you're moving. The lights slowly fade on, and upon looking around you see a big purple reptile dancing with a bunch of little kinds. They're all singing, "I love you, you love you…"]

Oops, sorry. Wrong world. Do you mind if I skip through the whole traveling allusion this time and go straight to Hyper-Spazzing Inc.? No? Good.

[The scenery quickly changes, and suddenly everything around you is either made of cheese, candy, or big fluffy pillows. You can hear a chorus of Megans and Cassies in the background singing, "paco, pacolatte cheese…"]

This, my friend, is… [A little chipmunk in the background starts giving a drum roll, and spotlights are randomly waving around the place]…*whispering* what are my lines again? Oh, ya…. HYPER-SPAZZING INC.!!!!!!!! [Much applauding of an un-seeable audience follows]

[A random child appears and raises his hand, asking, "Why do you always say 'inc' instead of incorporated?"] Shut up, kid! This is my world, and if I don't feel like typing out long words, I don't have to!!! [The child quivers]

[Jessie randomly pops out, and says, "Mia, I'll let you know that physical pain is just as bad as… that other sort of pain!!!" Everyone starts applauding at these brilliant, Shakespeare worthy words, and I tap my foot, waiting for them to finish]

 Now, where were we? Ah, yes, HYPER-SPAZZING INC.!!!!!!!! [The crowd cheers again, with much less enthusiasm]

*smiles* Well, I'd better start with my life history. [Adopts old British accent] I was born in a trashcan on 15th street Avenue, where the town was infested with albino prairie dogs…

[The story goes on for many hours, and one by one, the random crowd that has appeared falls asleep. You stay awake, however, because I don't feel like letting you have a nap. Mwahahaha…]

…and that, my friends is how I was named Jester of the royal potato chip farm and Queen of the infested hairspray company!

[Crowd is jolted awake and immediately starts applauding, and I loose the accent. It was starting it get annoying, you see.]

Hmmm, I'd say it's about time to start giving you the tour! [Adopts a pink business suit and annoyingly girlish voice] Hi, I'm tour-guide Barbie!

[Everyone stares]

Ok, maybe that isn't gonna work. [Looses suit and voice]

… *chirp, chirp* *moo*

[Gets voice back, just in normal not too girlish tone]

ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?!?!!?

*chirp*

Anyway! If you follow me, you'll notice that there's a bright pink door to your left.

[[If you choose to go through the door, go to the next paragraph]]

[[If you choose to stay behind for fear of loosing your sanity, better yet loosing your life, go to the next paragraph anyway, because your opinion doesn't really matter in Hyper-Spazzing Inc. MWAHAHAHA!!!!!]]

[The door slowly creeks open and everyone walks through. Suddenly a lion jumps out at everybody and begins viciously ripping them apart. Ignoring the pain, they begin to laugh, because everyone knows it hilarious when a lion jumps out!]

[After the lion is finished his business, everyone magically is one piece again, and perfectly happy]

Behind this door is the pretty pink room!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

 Warning: If you aren't fond of the following things, you may want to leave the room: the color pretty pink, unhealthy obsessions with the color pretty pink, long pointless stories about the color pretty pink, pretty pink cereal, and blue men. Wait, never mind. You're still in Hyper-Spazzing Inc, and have no control over your actions! MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

[Everybody sits down at a pretty pink table, and looks around. Everything is pretty pink, including the walls, the chairs, and the little dangly things hanging all over the place. Actually, if you look down, you'll notice that your own clothes are beginning to turn pretty pink. No one speaks for a while, but you do hear some pipes going 'bag, bag, bangady bang bang… bang…BANG…']

This room you are currently sitting in is named the pretty pink room for a reason. You may not have noticed it yet, but everything in here is pretty pink. There is a story behind this, you see. One day there was a girl who absolutely loved the color pretty pink cereal…

[An extremely long, repetitive story continues about a girl who seemed to be a bit un naturally obsessed with the color pretty pink, and her tragic realization that some people like other colors more than pink. By the end of the story, everybody in the room, including you, is sobbing with the emotion, and feeling of such a brilliant story. When it's over, everybody stands and cheers]

Thank you, thank you!!!

[As you leave the room, you are serenaded by Jessie and Jennifer singing "doodoodoodoo, pretty pink cerial…"]

[Back out in the hallway, Jennifer comes up to the group and asks, "Did I tell you about the hair story?" they just kind of stare at her, so she walks away.]

All right, now we're going to story time!!!!!

[Everybody jumps up and down and squeals like little kids. "Story time, story time!!!" After they settle down a bit, Laura enters, holding a large book called "Our middle school; memories and embarrassing moments" As she flips through the books, reading random stories from it, we hear many interesting things. By the time she's done, we know about the adventures of Queen Zarther, the reasoning pink bra on the hallway floor, strangely colored bikinis, the lemon game, and exactly how the making for the music video 'don't tell me' came about]

Thank you Laura! Thank you for that beautiful story! *To audience* ok, so the making of the video wasn't at school, sue us!

[Many charges are filed against Laura and me, who decide this is not necessary. Time goes back a few seconds, because I are- Wait, I mean, I can make it do that! MWAHAHAHA!]

Thank you Laura! Thank you for that beautiful story! *To audience* ok, so the making of the video wasn't at school, live with it!

[Everyone groans, saying things like, "Oh, man"]

I'm a man? Now that's just plain creepy.

[Laura dunks me in pool that just happens to be available]

*dripping wet, still half way in pool* Well, I hope you enjoyed your stay an Hyper-Spazzing Inc! On your next visit, you will be introduced to many new characters, possibly including Megan, Cassie, and many more Jessicas! *shakes head, getting water all over the place* Oops, sorry about that. If you drop a review on the way out, I promise not to get you wet again!