Hi everyone! I hope you enjoyed last episodes trip to the wonderful, brilliant, beautiful, and whatever other positive adjectives there are world of HYPERSPAZZING INC!!!!!!!!!
[no cheers are heard. I look down at my watch and shrug]
Well, I guess you guys still have control of your actions, huh? Never fear! Soon you will be back in the land of overly active people! Oh, and beware. I was too lazy to proofread this, so its probably packed with grammar mistakes… but that's perfectly normal in HyperSpazzing Inc! It's been a few weeks sense your last visit hasn't it? Well, let me refresh your memory…
[I go off in a long rambling story about purple watermelons, ring tailed lemurs, and nude restaurants. You slowly find yourself dozing off to sleep (hehe, who has control now?!?!) and when I finish you jolt awake and look around. The familiar sites of HyperSpazzing Inc that have haunted you in your dreams for weeks is surrounding you]
Haha, GOTCHA! You weren't planning on letting me bring you into HyperSpazzing Inc, were you? WERE YOU?! No! you weren't! But I did! MWAHAHAHA!!!! It was as simple as the ABC's! Even though some people *coughMEGANcough* don't think of them as that simple… MWAHAHAHA!!!!
[A few nice nurse ladies come over and spoon some medication into my mouth]
Mmm, cherry. Did I ever tell you about that one cherry war of the 15th century….
[Before I can continue any longer, an army looking group of people march by saying, "left, left, left wrong left…"]
Everybody take cover!!!
[A chorus of the song "Duck, and cover" plays, and everyone smiles and dances along]
It's the… the…. The JESSICAS!!!!!!
[Screaming occurs. Someone raises their had, still screaming her head off]
Yes?
[The girl asks, "Who are the Jessicas?" Everyone else's screaming falters and they mutter things like, "ya, what are we screaming about?"]
The Jessica are… a very common species of people. They share one common similarity-
[Noni pops out and asks, "As apposed to an uncommon similarity?"]
Shut up. As I was saying, they share one common similarity, which is… All of their names are ISREALDA!!!
[I look down at my clipboard]
Oh, sorry. My bad. All of their names are JESSICA!!!!!
[Everybody gasps, horrified]
That's right. They inhabit the world around us, plotting to slowly take it over and leave nothing but Jessicas behind! There are tons of them in our school alone! They have many nicknames, including Jess, Icka, Sicka, J, E, S, S, I…
[People start to fall asleep… again…I check a clipboard covered in papers covered in doodles of little evil circus midgets...hehehehehehehe…]
And how do you feel about that?
[Megan, Jessie, and Laura begin sobbing about their love affairs with Harry Potter characters, teachers, and whatever other random things they can think up…]
Ya, I know. I saw… in the living room.
[Everyone gives me a strange look]
Math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring math is boring… Alright everyone, its time to do a fun little activity!
["Can't we do something else?" Asks a random audience member]
Sorry, but I am disinclined to acquiesce to your request. Ok, on the count of three, we're all going to do what school reminds us of, considering it will start up in three days!
[sob]
One… two… three!
[Everybody dies]
Well that was a bit extreme… I should probably bring them back to life… but I don't feel like it…. Yet some company would be nice…
[[If you want to be brought back to life, press 1]]
[[If you want to stay dead, press 2]]
[[If you understand that it doesn't really matter what you press, press 3, or just don't press anything at all because it's a waste of finger energy and we all know exercising is against our religion… besides your using enough energy to scroll down as it is!]]
[Everybody is randomly returned to life. They start complaining about how I woke them up from their dream about Snape prying charms books from the ceiling]
Oh, shut up. Its time for another STORY TIME!!!!
["yay, story… time…" the crowd mumbles. Laura comes out with a book titled, "Weird People We Meet One Trips" and begins reading from it. In a matter of minutes, everyone's mind is filled with creepy stalker people, dirty dancers, and old ladies claiming to be the Voice, or something creepily weird like that.]
Good job, Laura! I'm so proud
[I wipe away a tear. Megan steps out and starts singing the ABC's. "…Q, R, S, T… whats next? Oh ya! V…"]
Alright, I think we should have a bit more of a tour, shall we?
[Everybody nods, including you, because I say so! MWAHAHAHA…ha….ha…anyway. We all go through the many hallways of HyperSpazzing Inc, including the 'Weird Ideas' hallway, the 'Kinda Normal Ideas' hallway, the 'Totally out of it Ideas' hallway, the 'Shove Everything that Doesn't Fit Anywhere Else Here' hallway, and many more. Eventually we stumble upon the Skit hallway, and we see Bill Proposing to Laura. "You have become a fine Woman, Eliza- I mean, um Laura." Laura, who is dancing to some rock music, suddenly gasps, mutters "I can't dance", and falls off the roof they're randomly standing on.]
Um, don't ask about that. It's a work in progress. We're putting on a play called "Teenagers of the Ickymiddleschool" for a whole bunch of people, including Mrs. Foofoo and her boys. They're very critical. Did I tell you about the time Mrs. Foofoo tripped over one of her boys?
[Everyone shakes their heads… against their will]
Well I wont, so HA!
[Everyone sighs in relief]
Or maybe on the other hand…
[I'm interrupted by Garrett, who runs in screaming "PINES PINES PINES!!!" and followed by Asten, aka Megan's future brother in law, asking "anyone wanna play soccer? Anyone? Ill pay! Will pay for soccer!"and… they both run back out.]
Um, don't ask. I think Astens a bit obsessed, but you get used to it. I think it would be safest to end your journey here, as to avoid personal injury, so… I shall now force you to review, and then you'll have total and complete control of your actions back! I bid you a good day!