HOW TO BE A CONFUSING FRIEND

Be indifferent.

Open your mouth to speak, then close it.

Smile insincerely, but seem sincere.

Make her doubt her worth as a human being.

Make her feel like she must not be putting enough in.

Avoid eye contact when necessary.

Don't ask her questions about herself.

Walk away when her smile reappears

in a last attempt to win your regard.