I sit and stare

I sit and stare,
Outside my window,
At the houses,
Grey and old
Each soul behind the shuttered doors,
Performing,
What once they might have been

I sit and stare,
Beyond these walls,
At the sky so dull,
And the people listless,
Trailing,
There ever present woes

I sit and stare,
Away from here,
At the dirty streets,
The children hungry,
The mothers fraught,
And wonder why we're here

I sit and stare,
At the gun in my lap,
My fingers clutched and shaking, as I watch,
Two dirty, barefoot boys,
Fight,
Over nought but a penny

I sit and stare,
As it rises from my lap,
Its metal cool against my forehead,
My finger jerks,
A muffled sound of pain

And all I do,
Is sit and stare