The Suicide's Prayer

God, I just want to die

I run from You, far and high and fast and deep

I'm just a waste of time and energy and space

To drown myself in the ocean

I dream sometimes that somebody cares

Throw myself from the cliffs

Anybody cares

To die deep in the earth

They don't care

But You follow

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me

Wherever I go, You follow

I should just die

There is nowhere too far

I'll sit here against the wall

Too high, too deep

Bleeding

Where You do not follow

All alone in the dark

You do not speak of helping, then count Your duty filled

And pray that You will give up on me

You grab me and hold me fiercely, until the tears subside

Like everyone else

You snatch me away from death

That You will turn your back on me

You bear my pain until I can stand again

Like everybody else

No enemy, without or within, can hold against Your anger

I'm not worth it

And You will allow no harm to come to me

Pray that I'll tighten the belt

Not now, not ever

Around my neck, notch it tight

No power on the earth

Lay down and slip into darkness

Under or above it

Pray that I'll dig deep enough

Could make you let go of my hand

And bleed away into nothingness

I would die Lord

Every night I'll pray

I would go into endless nothingness

Please God

I would become nothing

Please please please

But for You

Don't let me wake up tomorrow

And You will never let me go

Authoress's Note: I know that the form is very odd, but I love it. (It probably works better in two parts, but w/e) My favorite poem by far.

When commenting, perhaps the kind reviewer should keep in mind that yes, some of us have had seriously suicidal thoughts. An over used theme? Perhaps, but yes, some of us have actually attempted to take our own lives.

Just a thought.