Freedom

Sometimes it's just hard to express. You can't reveal what you really feel. Afraid of what other people might say. We hide behind shadows most of the time, not showing what we are. Emotions locked up. We only choose what others would want to see. Even though in your heart sometimes you wish to cry and tell the whole world how hurt you are. But nobody seems to care. Nobody sees what you really feel. There are times when I feel like I'm crowded, fear, a handful of pain, a few of happiness. Wish someone would just listen for awhile, wish someone would understand. Sometimes I feel like I'm drowning, can't breath anymore. Wish someone will save and accept me. I admit several times I hide myself, protecting who I am. For the reason that I don't want to be hurt by others but the more I try to hide the more I feel how it hurts. Right now I'm choking, a thorn pierced deep in my heart. I wish to cry but these tears won't fall, I want to shout but my mouth is just too dry. I want to walk away but I'm just too weak. The thorn is getting deeper, blood in my hands. It's frightening. Everything so dark, I'm reaching my hands but nobody seemed to notice. My memories dying away, the sight of light is growing farther. I remember once, I wish to be invisible but now I understand, I do not have to wish, I'm already invisible. People around me are just illusion, dream. Now I understand I should have never hidden, why pretend and think of what others might think for since the beginning I was alone. Blood everywhere, I'm covered with it. My heart beat slowed and I know later it will stop. I am now in reality why be worried that I'm leaving them when all this time they do not mind about me. I hope this doesn't stay much longer; I'm longing to feel the freedom. I'm not afraid anymore because I know only death shall end this pain. I wrote this to share my thoughts, because in this last minute I have realized many things. That expressing what we feel is important or you will end up like me, I choked up with my emotions trapped in, in my heart. Now its end for me, there's nothing more to see, and in darkness I'm bound to be.