*NEW NOTES AS OF 7-13-03*
Okay, unfortunately I have noticed something disturbing and that is the
fact that people seem to enjoy reading a poem about suicide instead of one
with more anger and less mopey bull. Anyway, I guess all I have to say to
new readers of this EXTREMLY old poem is enjoy and if you want to drop a
line in an e-mail to me do so. I'm quite well now though and don't mind
helping others.or something along those lines. In fact, I rather want to
gag myself when I re-read this. Sometimes there is nothing worse to me than
some odd mopey poems from my rather odd past being enjoyed.

My Death

Dear my family and friends,
I have decided not to run
I have decided not to hide
I have decided to die
Why, you may ask
Why have I decided to die?
I have decided to die because,
I have been called ungrateful
I have been called a slut, among other names
I have been ridiculed beyond belief
I have had my dreams crash to the ground
Then I am expected to pick them up and believe them again
Bah, As If.
I have been accused of acts I didn't commit
I have even been the cause of my family's lost Christmas
I have been called weird by my own friends
I've even been accused of being selfish by my,
Own damn family!
I act like I'm happy when I'm sad
I'm expected to be a hyper child
I have been the cause of every accursed thing
I was made to be sacrificed
I am struggling to write through blinding tears
The hot, fresh, and real tears sliding down my face
I have been called a Psycho
Once by my own boyfriend
You know who you are
Life has dealt you all with riches
It has dealt me a happy and carefree life
Till I turn 14
Those are some reasons why I want to die
I am allowing you to celebrate
To let loose your pent-up joy
You all will have a party
A party celebrating my death
I am not crazy nor a psycho
I am mis-understood
All who are forced to come in contact with me
They all agree
I should die soon
I will leap from the Martin Luther King Bridge
Plunging into it's icy depths
Being dragged under by riptides
Ripped apart by boats and yachts
Preserve what Is left of my body
No. Wait
Scratch that last statement
In fact I want you all
You all to burn me
Give my ashes to Colin
If he is not on the living plane
Please give my ashes to Joseph Wheeler
They are two of my real friends
Elysia, you are a real and great friend too
Although you proberly want me dead
Everyone does
I guess you might as well join in
Now that I have finished my speech
The time for my death draws near
Good-bye all and farewell
From a sad little girl
Hiding behind a rough and unfeeling mask