After
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The world goes on
Does anyone know why?
Struggling to breathe, don't cry.
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I can't believe it happened
What's wrong with me?
Why did I let her see?!
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Memory is haunting
The image always in my head
She's laying on my bed
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The moonlight shines
Reflecting off her tears
My body full of fears
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What have I done?
I've made her cry
I should've lied.
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She still loves me
I don't understand
These feelings I'd banned
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I can't stand her touching
These scars of mine
Will things ever be fine?
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Her fingers brush across them
She's calling my name
I can only feel the pain
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Will there really be an after?
There always is, people say
But will I live another day?
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I feel like my walls have fallen
She's beside me yet I feel so alone
I beg, "Please don't send me home."
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I've nowhere to go
No one to wipe my eyes
I'm so broken inside
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I can't think, can't breathe
I'm just lying here
The pain still sears
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Everything hurts
Pinching shut my eyes
I'm suddenly shy
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I can still see her
Love keeps churning
Under her eyes it's burning
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Her face, it's there
Stuck in my memory
No hope of being free
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I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Do I really want an after?
I'm such a loser.
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What is going on?
This wasn't meant to be
She's not allowed to know me
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It's all my fault
She knows. She knows.
This reality blows.
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What to do, what to do?
No answer will come
My mouth numb
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I can't stand this
So much to say
Someone take me away
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I'm just lying there
Watching her cry
Wanting; waiting to die
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What have I done?
She is there
Stroking my hair
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Where is the hate?
Her love so true
Eyes so sad, so blue
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So many things said
But nothing gets past
She cried; a solid fact
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I don't understand
Never dreamed it'd happen this way
I just want her to stay
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It's overwhelming
I hand her the blades
They came to me from Hades
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What is she thinking?
I really want to know
Praying it'll show
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I wonder if it makes sense
The purpose of the cuts
These feelings I must shut
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I don't understand
How could she?
Is this meant to be?
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I can't believe
I told her about the pain
Just want to stop the rain
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What will she do?
Won't she tell?
Makes me want to yell.
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It's so hard to breathe
I want her to stay awhile
Wait for a smile
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She's still there
Cradling me
Trying to set me free
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Finally I look up
Wipe a tear off her face
I feel so out of place
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Her hand in mine; cold
Wanting to hide
Dreams I can't find
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Thoughts rushing out
She's not responding
Just listening
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I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Who must pay the price?
My heart's been sliced.
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I don't know what to do
Losing my mind
Have I fallen behind?
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Blinking my eyes
I pull down the sleeve
Must make her believe
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I don't want it
But maybe I do
What's it to you?
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Everything is tangled
Am I driving you insane?
You call my name
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I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Feeling so empty, so cold
No longer am I bold.
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I can't stop talking
Looking for a place
I've fallen from grace
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What will we do tomorrow?
Shall things go on?
Something still wrong
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I've never been right
Everything's always my fault
No price of mine has been bought
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Putting my head on the pillow
Eventually I sigh
Finally close my eye
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I'm losing my faith
But she is proof
There's gotta be some truth
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Oh, it hurts.
She's seen me this way
Will it happen everyday?
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I'm not letting go of her hand
Her cool breath on my face
Is this the place?
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What happens tomorrow?
Time goes on
I'm caught in the bond
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Will my life go on?
Or will it slow and stop
Die off; a sudden drop?
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How will I ever live tomorrow?
I must face the laughter
This is my ever after.
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Written to Lindsey Erin Ford with much LOVE