Suicide Note

Forgive me for my psychotic episodes
As I throw my books against the wall
The way a lunatic does
When she's had it with the world
She just bursts into tears
Into a state of wondering
Of talking to phantoms of her mind
Of her dreams
Including speaking in third person
I wonder what she is doing inside herself
What I am thinking I question what she thinks
Twisted mind enraged in anger
Of nothing she can see or do about
Completely devoid of all her logic
Completely free of all her thoughts
Existing and nothing more
I just want to go home
But home has lost itself in the woods
And she will not let me
Return to what I know
She pushes me too hard
I wonder when it will be my turn to take control
I am waiting against the night fall
Depression is beauty
Or at least that's what she tells me
I wonder if I should believe myself
With someone trapped inside
Is she trying to get out?
Or seeping deeper in
I will not know until I undo myself
Thread my thread
Unraveling my stitched quilt
Focused on all the imperfections
On all the twisted scars she created
The ones that I am guilty for
Were influenced by myself
Piano sonata flowing in my mind
Drowning her in her disparity
So I know I am not alone
Because I can hear her scream
Destroyed and shattered
Like my body against the broken glass window
Like that one we jumped out of
Torn in two again
But this time it's not all in my head.