This Wonderous Island Paradise
By:Andrew Troy Keller

It was on the Twenty-Fourth day of July and
My friends and I had been invited to a grand
Vacation on the paradise island known simply enough as Cancun,
Which was where I was able to find love soon
Enough,for after we've checked ourselves into Cancun's own grand
Hotel,changed into our swimsuits and walked down to the beach,
I've suddenly discovered a Linda Carter clone--who's a peach
Of a beauty--waiting for her 'faithful lover' to return
To her,only to have her lovelife take a turn
For the worse,because he'd found someone on the beach
That he was able to truly fall in love with.

And so,she'd sat on the beach and started crying
Her eyes out over how she was capable of loving
Such a jerk who was known only as Kirk Lancaster,
Who allowed himself to fall in love with a surfer-
Girl whose name just happens to be Mary Jo Cushing.

That made me feel so sorry for her that I
Had sat down next to her and asked her,"Why
Should you be crying,instead of enjoying this wonderous island
Paradise?",before I had placed my caring and gentle hand
On top of her's and allowed a smile to appear
On my face.And when it had became quite clear
That I was no threat to her,she looked at
Me and told me that her name is Catherine 'Cat'
Lane and she's suppossed to marry a certain Kirk Lancaster,
But after he'd suddenly fallen in love with the little
Surfer-girl,Cat had suddenly found herself in a puddle
Of deep despair and was unable to find true love
Again.That's before I've sat next to the poor dove
And helped her get herself out of that nasty puddle.

And after I've told her that my friends and I
Would make sure that she'd never be able to cry
Alone,we've gave each other a great big hug,before
We've looked at each other and discovered within our core
Of being that we've found love without having to try
Really hard.And then,after we had both kissed ever
So passionately on the lips,Cat had deeply gazed her
Eyes at me and asked me to join her at
Her place--and after I've said 'yes',I've followed Cat
To her apartment,where we had gone straight into her
Bedroom,removed all of our clothes and placed our nude
Bodies on the bed,before we've started doing something crude,
Like making mad and passionate love to each other and
Help her forget the one guy who wasn't trully grand.

After we've finally finished our moment of pure erotic pleasure,
Cat had taken a deep breath and also placed her
Head on my chest,before thanking me for giving such
Wonderous sensual pleasure to her and helping her
Forget the one creep who had given her nothing,but grief.

And after I've also told her that I've fallen in love
With her ever since I've met my poor little dove
Crying her eyes out on the sandy beach
And he'd felt so sorry for the poor little peach
Of beauty,that I've decided to help keep alive her love
By allowing her to fall in with a Mister Johnny
Landau,who just happens to be yours truly.

Just then,after our Cancun vacation is over,Cat's decided
To travel back with us and to her family home,where she said
To her mother and father that she'd finally found true love--
And that his name is Johnny Landau.

And then,one year later,
Cat and I had placed ourselves in front of a preacher
And got married on the very same beach
Where I had encountered the one who's trully a peach
Of a beauty--and we're still able to live happily ever after.

As for Kirk Lancaster,
The one creep who had left Cat for a surfer-
Girl named Mary Jo Cushing,
He'd came home one day and spotted her making
Mad,passionate love with a male surfer--
Which had caused him to demand a divorce from her.

After Cat had heard about what happened to her
former lover,a sudden thought appeared inside her
Head--that she had finally gotten the last laugh.

Oh,by the way,
If you're ever able to go to Cancun on a personal holiday,
You might want to stay away
From a surfer named Mary.