Rope of Thorns

Forgive me

What you gave me was a choice

Between nothing and something

But nothing leaves you empty

And something is immoral

Something steals your innocence

You've worked so hard to keep

Believe me

I really know deep down, you're right

But I don't live to please myself

You say I owe it to myself

To be able to know

But I'm not ready to know anything

And I know it's not right

Hate me

I'm such a damn liberal

But I can't cut one ounce of slack

For my own free-will

For my freedom from this cycle

And something I could easily have

But won't allow myself to see

Help me

This is your way of solving things

I can't say I have a better way

But this isn't the right way

The socially accepted way

And I despise myself for caring

Because I'm so open-minded

Ignore me

I can't keep this a secret

But I have to, for my sake

A secret I can't share with anyone

And never will be able to

Even considering this is wrong

But I'm considering it

Leave me

The thought alone haunts me

At night when I try to sleep

In the morning when I wake up

At dinner with my family

And on the phone with you today

I can't take it

Mend me

Let it not be my fault

Let me not feel so guilty

Let me know that this is the only way

But don't force it on me

I don't know what I want anymore

And I can't accept your help

Tell me

That I can bear it without you

The others will help me through

But I don't want to be the victim

At the hands of my best friends

And mildest acquaintances

And I don't want their pity

Forget me

Maybe I hide myself from the truth

Maybe I shield myself from answers

Maybe I'm screaming deep inside

Perhaps I'll never take your advice

Maybe I'll live a life alone

Or maybe I'll fall for this

Save me

You offer me a rope of thorns

The rope is only there to help me

But I'll still have the scars

The rope is the only way out

The only way to stop drowning

But I'd always have the scars