I don't get it. Why do I feel so isolated? I'm in a high school full of 5000 kids! And yet, No one understands me. What's the point of existing if you aren't living? I mean, sure I'm here, and I don't have to bad of a life, and yet, I don't feel like anyone likes me. Therefore, I think I have an idea. It's sick, but it may give me some insight. So here's my question. If I were gone, would anyone miss me?
The halls are crowded. If I look to my left, there's a group of people hanging out, laughing. To my right, a guy and a girl making out. And in front of me, an endless throng of people trying to get to class on time. I adjust my backpack on my shoulders and muscle through the crowd.
In class, I sit and write down ideas on how to figure out people's reactions to my demise. The first idea, tiny microphones, is impossible. And so is the camera idea. So I finally decide to let someone in on my plot. My only friend, Jack.
"It's crazy, Jason." Jack is staring at me, eyes wide, and mouth open.
"No, it's not." I shovel some of the miserable cafeteria food into my mouth.
"Yes it is! What, did you get hit over the head with The Adventures of Tom Sawyer yesterday?"
I grin. It's nice, knowing he even cares about the idea.
"And what about Kristin?"
My mood clouds. He has to bring her up. She is one of the reasons I even considered this. Kristin is my ex. She told me she loved me. I didn't believe her. I still don't.
"What about her," I ask nonchalantly.
"You moron. She really loves you and you threw that away. Why can't you just accept her?"
"Forget her," I say. "Will you tell me what people think about it, or not?"
"I think it's nuts," he mumbles.
"I think it's brilliant."
So Jack agreed to it. Now all I have to do is figure out how to die. Therefore, I decide the idea that I was lost in the wilderness works. There are plenty of people that disappear in the woods every year. In addition, if any search party came near, I could move. I tell my mom I am sick. She's never home anyway, so she doesn't care. I wonder how she'll react. I will find out soon.
"Jack, hand me that bag over there," I ask him.
As he hands the bag to me, he questions my bringing provisions. He asks me if my mom might notice if a few of my bags are missing. I tell him that she probably won't even notice if I'm missing, much less a couple book bags.
"Take this too," Jack says, handing me a cell phone, "Keep it turned off to save the battery. Only use it if absolutely necessary."
"Dude, chill," I say, "I will only be gone a month."
"I'm your friend, and I just don't want you to get hurt. I care about you dude."
"Thanks, man," I say, "Now let's get my dead ass into those woods."