Secondhand Friend
How can we be so close
And yet so far apart?
And,
I'm not talking distance,
Miles or inches . . .
I'm talking about
Our relationship.
I feel like I'm on a
"Need to know" Basis.
Like I'm a secondhand friend.
I feel like you'll tell me
Only when you feel like it,
Or if it comes up in conversation.
If I were a real friend
I wouldn't have to
Pry information out of you.
I feel like I should be
One of the first you tell.
Not the one who finds out
Months and months later.
Perhaps there are
Things that
I don't really need to know . . .
But friends are never
Afraid to share secrets.
You might not know . . .
But it hurts me.
Hurts me inside.
I feel like I'm not special . . .
Or worthy of your time.
I feel like you could care less
If I know you at all.
And,
I don't want to put pressure on you.
But, you need to know how I feel.
And,
I don't want to yell at you.
But you need to tell me why.
Why I feel so detached
From you and all the others.
And,
Even though I love you
I get so mad at you.
I want you to be able
To tell me everything.
I want to be the shoulder
That you'll willingly come to cry on.
I want to be the ears
That you'll willingly come to vent on.
I want to be the one
That you trust with all your soul.
And,
I don't want to be the one
Who will never ever know.
And,
I don't want to be
A secondhand friend.