I own all charcters my copyright Mine except some jokes from shows oh and I dont own mel gibson and some from anchor man if you want the jokes removed well prove you own them and it goes down also ff charcters

Ok hello I made a theme song so just shut up and listen

(Classical music starts to play) Well I dont know what is happening but

we will stay near or goals and we will try real hard to live are lives in harmony

(Music stops and you hear gun fire)SHUT UP!

(Rock Music plays) well heres a story a bout guy named max and guy nick

they run they try but they cant hide

Ok I will never do this again

Go down for the story

This story is diffrent then my others for example its in chapters

and Will be very long so

Enjoy

Chapter 1 Who are you?

Max:well nick I hope this movie is better than your last pick

Nick:it should be

(Movie starts)

Mysterious vocie from above not the movie screen)

Voice:Max Nick do you want to go on an adventure

Max: Uhhhhhhhhhhh

Nick:Ummmmmmm

Voice:damint choose

Nick:OK

Max:why the hell not

(No response)

Nick:Hello

(no response)

Max:oh well

(Weird blue portal sucks max and Nick in)

Nick:Oh Shit

(portal lets Nick out into a beach like area)

Nick:max? are you here ?hello?

Girls voice:Hi stranger who you looking for

Nick:oh umm my friend max...(looks at the girl In shock)(thinking to himself)holy shit thats the girl from the movie what the hell?)...Umm uhhh who I cant seem to find And my name is Nick

Girl:oh can I help I live here

Nick:umm ok Umm Whats your name anyway

Girl:Oh sorry The Names sydney

Nick(Its is the girl from the movie the girl who ends up killing everybody in the...Shit)

Sydney:ummm so do you wanna start now

Nick:(nervously)ok

Chapter 2 Holy shit

(we see max walking down a beaten down path)

Max:Ow my feet hurt and im hungry and tired and lonely

Max:and I wanna find Nick

Max:Stupid portal

(looks down at the ground paying no attention to whats in front off him but continues walking)

max:Stupid portal

Max(Smacks into tree)

Max:holy Shit who puts atree in the middle of a pat..(looks around noticing theres no path)

Max:crap

Mans Voice:Hey Kid

Max:Huh mE?

Mans voice:yah you

Max:what?

Mans voice:Need help?

Max:(turns around )yes who are you?

Mans voice:Names george stranger

Max:HI george may I ask you something

George:go for it

Max:what state is this?

George:Whats a state?

Max:Umm country?

George: what?

Max You got to be shiting me

George:Nope are you lost?

Max:yes and what is the date

George:Now thats I can help you with

Its is 2254 march7 and the time is(looks up) 4:15 pm

Max:HOLY SHIT

Chapter 3

Damn Girl

We see Nick with sydney and sydney is going on and on about some shit Nick isnt listening as they continue looking for max

Sydney:and thats why we should eat more potatoes

Nick:so your telling me that the year is 2254

Sydney:what oh yes

Nick:what happened to technology

Sydney:Wait Hold on technology oh yah I rember hearing about that in history class

it was destroyed by a nuclear bomb

Nick:No shit how did everyone survive

Sydney:actualy only few parts of the world were not infected but most were small countrys with small technology all we have left is a water generator

Nick:(Wow Wait if this is a movie why arent there cameras hmm somethings wrong)

sydney:Nick...Nick are you listening?

Nick:Huh? yah bout the water cooly dely you know the weird shit

Sydney:(smacks nick in the back of his head)Idiot

Nick:Damn girl!!



chapter 4 Mel Gibson



We see max and george george keeps looking at max with a smile

Max:George why are you staring me?

George(quickly looks away) what I... uhhh ...no im...Not

max:Well Im not intrested you sick ass mo-fo!

George:what you got a sick little mind

Max(Looking closley at george notceIng something)Hey you look exacly like mel gibson

George:who

Max:ah forget it

George:Well so where are you going?

Max:Not telling you yah sick mo-fo!

George:Will you shut-up about that

Max:Sure you mo-fo

George:Damnit!Listen If you call me a mo fo one more time you will regret it

Max:what you going to do you sick lttle mo fo sun of a bitchin bastard?

George:Oh you want to know huh?

Max:Yah?

George:Im going to sex you up!

Max:oh sweet lord

(George begins to undo his pants then chases max)

Max:sweet gay perverts get the hell away from me you sick mel gibson mo-fo

(Max climbs up a tree when george isnt looking)

Max(well at least He cant see hehehe)

(george now completly naked is looking for max

George:come out come out where ever you are I just want to rape you

(max accidently moves a branch)

Max:shit

George:what was that?!

Max(makes squirrel noises)

George:Damn mutated squirell

Max:Mutated?!!!!!!!!!!!

(giant mutated squirell apears and attacks max )

max:ahhhhhhhhhhh sweet jesus oh lord get it off its eating my skin!

George:dear jesus your on your own

max ahhhhhhhh...you...ahhhhhhhhh...stupid...owwwwwwww...mo-fo..

George takes off

INTERMIsSON

GO TAKE A WIZZ

(MUSIC PLAYS)GO TO EAT SOME SHIT FROM THE SNACK BAR)

We want to eat but how?

Just go to the snack bar

Ok

Then go you dumbasses

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee\

Ohhhhhhh god hes dead

End of intermission

Chapter 5 DUn dun dun dun!

We see Nick and sydney arguing because they are lost in the woods but Nick is about to get a big suprise

Nick:well its your fault because you wanted to go off the path you said and i quote"we should go off the path because I know a shortcut through the woods"unquote

Sydney:Well I did except some body had to take a freakin whizz on that damn racoon!

Nick:Hey that racoons was filthy I cleaned

Sydney:With your PIss?!!

Nick:YES! As a matter of fact!

Sydney:well We should stop fighting Nick You wait here Im going to scout ahead

Nick:Fine(sydney starts to leave)bitch

Sydney:what?

Nick:Nothing

(Sydney leaves view)

(Weird noise are heard far away)

Nick:Hello

(swooshing sound is heard and a tomahawk whizzes by Nicks ear)

Nick:what the hell

Sydney: hello Nick

Nick:sydney?

Sydney:Now its time for you to...

(max being attacked by a mutant squirell runs into sydney witch then

the squirell starts attacking Sydney)

(Max rolls and stops right in front of Nick)

Max:hi Nick

Nick:What the hell is that thing

Max: Oh thats just joey

Nick:JoeY?

Max:Joey the mutant squirell hes my new friend

Nick:why was he trying to you know kill you?

Max:Thats just his way of saying hi

Nick:so his way of saying hi is ripping out part of your skin

Max:no thats his way of saying aloha

Nick:right well lets get out of here

Sydney:Ahhhhhhh this isnt over Nick

Nick:your a bitch

Max:DUn dun dun

Chapter 6 Whos Your enployer

We see Max and Nick Running threw a forest and barley reaching outside of it

Max:wow I didnt know my legs could run that fast

Nick:Yah well I did

Max:Hey Nick?

Nick:What Max

Max:Do you think that superman lives here?

Nick:max we talked about this you only ask those questions to yuor imaginary friends

Max:oh yah

(Nick And Max finaly reach a town)

Nick:praise the lord

Max:praise the fantastic 4

Nick:Max

Max:oh yah Forgot

Nick lets see if they have any technolgy

Max:I wonder if they have a toilet?

Nick:They Should thats pipes not technolgy

Max:right

(Nick And Max Aproach a counter at a hotel)

Man:hello strangers what I do you for

Max:I will take a bucket of oysters

Nick:Max Let me do the talking

Max:Right

Nick:we need a place to stay the night

Man:we have one room left the closet

Max:is a toilet in there

Man:No but theres a bucket

Nick:we will take it for umm a week

Man:that will be 50 coins

Nick:ummm do you accept little bits of string

Man Sorry store policy(points to sign)we do not accept little pieces of string

but i may have a job for ou so you can work there

Nick:what Kind of Job

Chapter7 bam bam bam

Nick is cleaning urinals in the hotel bathroom

Nick:dumbass bastard my freakin hands were not made to clean the freakin urinals

(max walks in)

Max:well look who took a bathroom break!

Nick:Max this is were I work

Max:Ohyah

Nick:so its you whos taking the break

Max:Uhhhhhhhhh no

Nick:just go back to your job washing dishes

Max:No its time to switch jobs

Nick:fine

(Boss walks in)

Boss:well what are you guys waiting for

(max starts scrubbing fastly)

Boss:but Nick we need you top clean up room 24

Nick:why

Boss:because some one tore up all the shhets and ripped off the curtains

and clogged up the toilet

Nick:oh great

(Nick finaly gets to room 24 fialy realizing that room 24 also is there room witch is also the closet witch has no toilet or curtains or a bed)

Nick::wait this is are room ...errr closet

Boss:thats right(smacks Nick In the back of the head with a rock)

Nick:Sun of a bitc...(passes out from pain)

(sydney apears)

Sydney:good work boris no one escapes the death dealers

(max heads back to his room later that night while passing the pepole on there honeymoons room)

Max:(humming)

(from room)

(bamming is heard)

Max:oh good lord

BAm Bam Bam

Max(shudders and runs to room)

(finaly reaches room and goes in)

Max:hmmm weres Nick?

chapter 8 revenge of the squirell

we see nick tied to a chair and boris with a knife

Nick:huh whats going on?

Boris:Look the bitch is waking up

Sydney:good(looks at Nick)Well well lets get started Nick

So How would you LIke to DIe?

Nick:Ummmmmmm slow and painful would be good

and ummm with a bazooka

Sydney:what the hells a bazooka?

Nick:you know realy big fires rockets

Sydney:listen I dont understand what your talking about but

im going to kick you in the nuts until they start to bleed ok?

NIck:ummmm I realy dont Like that Idea

Sydney: to bad (pulls foot back aiming at nicks treasures)

(suddenly a giant squirell appears with max riding on his back)

Max:hi ho joey away

Squirell:raaaaaaaaaaaaaawar!

Sydney:holy shit

(squirell bites borises ball sack and swings him around wildly)

boris:ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh sweet mother fu...

Sydney:you on your own boris

Boris:Nick was right owwwwwwwww you are a BITCH

Max:boy superman would love this(looks out the window)

hey superman come on

(no one comes)

Nick:dammit max untie me

Max:ok fine no need toget your lovenuts in a knot

NIck:what?

Max:nevermind

(max after about an hour of untieing(he forgot how)unties nick)

Nick:finaly

(boris has stopped screaming and is bleeding quite pursausively)

Nick:ewwwwwww oh god I think I might puke

Max:joey you can stop now

(the squirell starts choking on one of borises balls dies)

Max:Joooooooooooooooooooooey

Nick:for gods sake lets go

(they leave the now dead boris and joey dead)

Chapter 9

YO YO its gibson bitch!

we see Max and Nick walking threw the forest max keeps sniffing remebering joey



Max:joooooooooooooooey damn you borises nuts

Nick:Max The last thing I want to remeber is borises nuts

Max:Well that bastard desrves it

Voice:well well well if it isnt max and a friend to play with

Max:ohh god it couldnt be

Nick:who

Voice:ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh This is going to be fun

Max:run!

(george jumps from a tree landing on max and he is naked)

Max:ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Nick:ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

George:yahhhhhhhhhhhhh

Nick:starts to make noise like a karate excpert and get in a fighting positon

George:oh fighsty

(max IN back ground starts singing)

Max:ohh hoo ohhhhhhhhhhhoooooo every body was kungfu fighting dun dun dun

those guys were fast as lighting

Nick:zip it

Max:sorry

(George tackles Nick)

(max tries to attack a tree but realizes that the tree was not alive)

Max:ohh man(looks at george whos trying to force nick to suck him off and attacks)

(maxs rips out georges heart by simpily smashing his hand intohis chest)

George:ohhhhhhhhhhh god(dies)

Nick:right

( Max swallows the heart and laughs then looks at nick)

Max:what

NIck:how did you..and the heart.. how did you do that?

Max:Mortal kombat duh!

Nick:ok well lets get the hell out off here

chapter 10 Bad boys

MAx and Nick Finaly reach a new town and are just about to read the sign

Nick:max you find us a place to sleep for the night and i will find some supplies

Max:ok

(nick runs into town)

(max look around and notices something)

Max:hey its dark

(I mean that he notices something important)

Max:oh ummm its smells like cow?

(no damit theres no people out)

Max:oohhh

Max:that is cool I think?

Max:(walks into the shop)

Max:hello?

Girls voice:welcome to the shop of(in evil voice)The undead

Max:???!

Max:COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLL

Girls voice:do you not fear me?

Max:NO

Girl:OK(in evil voice)Then I will insert you with the blood of werwolves!!!!!!!

Max:Actualy I was looking for some food

or a place to sleep hmmmmm can I have a banna?

Girl:Just leave

Max:fine then I wont give you sex

Girl:what?

(Max leaves as fast as he can singing)

Max:lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

Girls voice:damn you one sick ass bad boy(in a very quite voice)and I like it



Chapter 11 Max has a girlfriend?

(Max comes running into the shop and comes yelling at nick)

Max:Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Nick:(turs to Max with a sword)Look max a sword

Max:ahhhhhhhhhhh

Nick:(puts sword in halster)whoops

Max:(trying to get over a heart attack he almost had)holy crap

Girl:come back I want you

Max:ahhhhhhh hide me!

Nick:huh?

Max:from the weird ass bitch

Girl:hi Max

Nick:and you are?

Girl:Hmmmm well since you know max my name is filina

Nick and max:Filina?

Max:what a stupid ass(nick smacks him)owww ummm...coat

Nick:Nice cover

Max:well umm whats your face girl do you have a name wse can call you for short?

Filina:fea will do

Max:(giggles)

Nick:(Laughs out loud)

(out of nowhere some strange girl jumps into a window from outside)

Nick:holy shit

Max:wow glass

Nick:?

Mystery girl:excuse me are any of you max or nick

max:uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?

Nick:why?

Mystery girl:because im suposed to kill them

Nick:ohh umm that girl over there is max and nick

Mystery girl:?oh?

Fea:hey i am(max interuptts)Max:uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Mystery girl:Shut up or eat my lead(pulls out a pistol)

Nick:wow a pistol

Max:wow a piece of glass(picks it up and puts it in his mouth)(crunch)ow I stepped on a tack

Nick:Eww that looks painful and thts not glass thats a piece of leather

Max:(crunch)Ohhh still good

Mystery girl:since this isnt helping I guess I will just have to kill you all!

Everyone except mystery girl:Shit

(aims pistol at maxs head)

Chapter 12 I want me some coffee

Max:wow a gun

Nick:max shut up

Mystery girl:Hahahahahahahahaha I jenny will kill you all and get paid

Nick:wait who employed you?

Jenny:well since im going to kill you any way some girl named sydney

Max:hey Nick isnt that the bitch?

Nick:wow max you remeber that?

Max:No

Jenny:damnit Will you just let me finish my job

Max:sorry officer

Nick:God damnit max were you listening shes going to kill us

Max:and thats...

Nick:bad

Max:oh

(jenny lifts her pistol and takes aim at max)

Fea:noooooo(jumps in front of max)

(Bang)

Fea:run

Nick:lets go

(maxs runs into wall)

Max:ooops sorry mam

Nick:max stop talking to walls this way

(both leave after about an hour of running well actualy 4 minutes max had to pee for the 56 other minutes)

Nick:we could have been farther if you hadnt pissed for so long

Max:realy I had a long drink of leather

Nick:right well you dont drink leather

Familer voice:well look at this it seems that jenny failed

Max:(looks at the tree were the voice caim from)wow a talking tree Im max and this is NIck whats your name tree

(sydney jumps down from tree)

Sydney:HI I suppose you rember me

Max:oh hi I do your the bitch

Nick:sydney well well well This time im prepared

(pulls out his sword )

Sydney:huh well thats a waste of metal

(gives max a butterknife who instaly uses it to attack a tree)

Nick:max damnit help me fight sydney

max:but I cant IM tired

Nick:tired But you never got tired before

Max:well if we must fight I need some coffee

Chapter 13 Lesbos?

Sydney:well then that was amusing but(pulls out some kind of axe)not as much as this

Max:Can I get some mochalotae

Nick:Huh well IM on my own for this fight

(pulls out blade)

Nick:lets do this you bitch

Sydney:fine

(start fighting and Nick is doing quiet badly)

Max:..........Im hungry

(Nick is to busy to answer)

(max hears a noise in a bush and goes to check it out)

Max:hello?

Familar screeching sound

Max:Joey?

NicK:(Looks away for a second )Joey?

Sydney:who the hell is joey?

(JOey comes jumping out of the bush instantly attacking max)

Max:ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Nick:HI to you to joey

Max:ahhhhhhhhhh Joey just attack Ummmm NIck

Nick:NO Max you dumbass attack sydney

JOey:rawwar

(Joey attcks sydney)

Nick:max lets get out of here

(after running for an hour they finaly reach the beach)

Yet another familar voice:Hey there Need some help

Nick:wait I know that voice like the back f my hand(looks at the back of his hand)whoa what is that but any way thats.......

Chapter 14 Final Fantasy

Nick:Cloud!

Max:(Looks up)Ithought that was cloud?

Nick:no off of FF7

Max:OK

Cloud:well what are to kids like you doing around here?

Max;we were running and this girl who attacked us was attacked by my dead mutated squirell joey who died when he ate some guys testicles

Cloud:sorry I asked

Nick:dont mind him hes kind of..well is an idiot

cloud:ok

Nick:well umm would your name happen to be Cloud?

Cloud:yes!And would yours happen to be NIck?

Nick:yah???How did you know that

Cloud:cause your wanted

Nick:by who

Cloud:the whole sherrif department witch includes me

Max:Crap cant we ever get a break

Nick:No then this movie would suck

Cloud:(while pulling out his huge blade)Movie?

Nick:RUN

Max:dont got to tell me twice

(they both run off as cloud chase them)

(eventualy they find a small hole in the ground witch max trys to use as a toilet before Nick stops him)

NIck:come on before cloud gets here(jumps in hole)

Max:oh but I got to go

NIck:(grabs maxs foot from the hole and pulls him in)

Max:ahhhhhh the bogey mans got me somebody hel..(gets pulled under)

Chapter 15 Mole people?

We see that after traveling threw the rather large tunnel that Max and NIck have reached a lever and are talking about who should pull it

Max:But Look Nick its so cool I should get to pull it!

Nick:Uhh max that made no sense!

Max:then why are you listening to me

Nick:huh what did you say?

Max:You bastard!

(punches NIck)

(Nick Punches him back)

(sudenly a part of the tunnel breaks away)

Max:ahhhh its the mole people are coming

Nick:Noo its a cave in!(Pulls lever)

Max You Jackass!(tries to punch nick but they both fall threw diffrent holes)

Nick:ahhhhhhhh god I feel Like this is going to hurt

Max:weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee