Yay it's Dec 5. Walt
Disney's /Eric's birthday :D
I thought it was about time I updated. (even though I should be studying for a test) So here goes. I hope you guys enjoy it
"I heard you went up the hills with Eric. Just two of you." Kirsten said.
We were all sitting on our beds, some of us in our PJs. Christian and his sisters had already gone and the four of us were just chatting through the night.
"Vicki…" I shot her a glare, "Must you tell her EVERYTHING?"
"Hey, it wasn't me this time."
Khine grinned. I threw a pillow at her.
"What did you guys do anyway?" Khine asked.
"Kissy kissy kiss," Vicki started to tease.
I found myself going red. "We did nothing ok. We just talked, that's all." I hugged my pillow, hoping they would change the topic.
"You guys should stop taking and take some actions already!" Kirsten said.
"Yeah, Eric should just grab you and kiss you." Vicki said.
"WHATTT??!! EXCUSE ME??!!" I burst out immediately, "PLEASE!"
"You know you want it!"
I gaped at Vicki and shook my head with disbelief, "You guys are INSANE!" I threw my head back and laughed, "Really insane. All that activities must have made you guys high. I'm gonna go down and get myself a drink."
"No fair! You're running away!" Kirsten protested.
"Maybe she's going to find Eric," Khine suggested.
"Hey!! Pick on someone else okay! Ask Kirsten for example what she was doing with Damian earlier this morning."
"Pssh…It's probably the same old thing. I mean, what else could they be doing, right?" Vicki grinned.
"What do you mean by that?" Kirsten said, crossing her arms.
I laughed and got out of bed, leaving them to pick on one another. It was dark as we had turned off all the lights. But the large window had let in quite a bit of the city lights in, illuminating the room quite beautifully.
I made myself a mug of hot chocolate and while waiting for the drink to cool slightly, I brought my mug and walked towards the window to admire the night view. Heights tend to frighten and exhilarate me at the same time. I made sure not to stand too close to the window while looking down even though I know there was no way the sturdy window panes would suddenly crack. Taking a sip from my mug, I reached out and touched the cold glass panes and took another step forward. The night sky was beautiful, stars littered the sky and I could make out the faint outline of the moon. I started to dream about how it would feel like if I could just fly, I think it would truly be wonderful. I took another step forward and let my cheeks touch the cold glass. Somehow it felt scarily exciting yet comforting; the chill seemed to have a strangely calming effect.
"You don't need to press so close to the class, I think the view is clear enough from here."
I jumped and turned around in shock. Eric was sitting on the lower step of the pit, looking at me. The light happened to be shining directly on his face, illuminating it in a mysterious way.
"Oh uh… I didn't know you were there," I said, flustered. Either I was too engrossed looking at the view, or he must have walked silently like a ghost because I had absolutely no idea how he got there. I thought about how awkward I must have looked, pressing my face against the glass and was thankful for the semi-darkness.
I took a sip from my mug, feeling a little uneasy being alone with him at the moment, "So, why did you come out here for?"
"I don't know, maybe I'm just out to enjoy the scenery, just like you are," His voice seemed to grow softer and there was a wistful tone to it.
"Would you like some hot chocolate? I'll make a cup for you." I said, eager to get away from the light to a darker part of the room.
He nodded and I scurried off to the kitchen to make him a cup. When I was done, I walked back to the pit and handed him a cup, sitting a little distance away from him. Close enough so we could talk comfortably, but not too close.
"Thank you," He said, cupping the cup with both his hands and sipping slowly.
We drank in silence for a while, and finally he spoke up. "It seems like you and Bing are getting along well. I saw both of you chatting there earlier on."
I just knew he was going to talk about it somehow. I kept my silence for a little while and finally blurted it out, "She likes you, you know it don't you?"
He looked down at his mug and nodded. "But you know that I like someone else."
I was starting to feel hot and embarrassed again. I looked down at my cup quickly, "But…how do you know that's what you really feel… I mean …"
I didn't know what I was saying, in fact, I felt so confused. I wasn't sure how I felt about Eric. Sometimes I think I love him and yet sometimes I'm not even sure. And for some reasons, even though he had confessed to me, part of me seemed to refuse to believe it.
"I mean… how do you know it when you love somebody? It's so confusing to me… I don't know what it means. What I'm trying to say is… is… Oh… I don't know! You and Bing seem to connect much better than we do. It's like both of you understand one another and I think you could confide in her better. You trust her more than you probably trust me and I think, isn't it what makes a relationship work? I mean… sometimes I think that maybe some people think they're in love with someone else when all along the person they really love is a good friend of theirs or something of that sort. And… I think, both of you can always help one another and bond better with one another and … I … I … I don't even know how to be of help. I don't know how to act around you. I'm not mature like Bing is and I'm not straightforward and…"
It was too much for me. I stopped mid sentence and stared at my mug. What was I saying? What point was I trying to make? I felt like my head was about to explode from the confusion.
"But you don't have to be," He said softly, "I think you're fine just the way you are."
He paused for a moment before continuing, "Someone told me once that we mustn't expect the person we love to fill up the missing gaps in our lives. I'm not looking for someone just so they could make me whole, I don't think that's it at all. I think people who seek for a partner who can make them feel complete is looking for the wrong thing. I don't need the one I like to complete me, I just want her to be there, to support me, that's all I need."
His eyes silenced me gently as he continued to say, "There are some problems that we just have to work out ourselves. We can't always seek the advice of other people and expect them to solve it for us. Bing is my friend and yes, I feel that she understands me better because she had gone through some similar experiences as I did before. But whatever it is, I don't have that kind of feelings for her. And I think it's ok to feel unsure and helpless. I … I feel the same way too."
I looked at him in surprise and he smiled, "I think everyone starts out feeling that way, you know. I wasn't sure what I felt towards you and Bing did confuse me. And I've thought about it and I've clarified my feelings with Bing and she understands. She's a sensible person and I know that she knows when to leave when the time comes. But if you still feel uncomfortable about my relationship with Bing, I could keep a civil distance from her, it's the least I can do."
"No… no…" I quickly said, my mug was empty and I had somehow automatically stood up, "I mean…I understand what you mean. And… I shall think about what you said… I mean… I think I need some time to think about it, you know…"
Eric nodded. I walked up the steps to go to the kitchen, but felt compelled to say more. So I continued, "I'm not even sure what it is, but I still feel so confused…"
"Is it that childhood crush of yours?"
That question brought me to a sudden halt. It occurred to me that I had not even thought of Dan after coming down the hill. That very fact made me stunned and yet amused at the same time. I started to laugh softly, "I don't know … but I don't think so. Maybe I'm just afraid." I shrugged, "But I did make a silly promise to myself when I was a kid, that I would kiss no one else save him."
I had no idea why I said that, but somehow the look on Eric's face at that moment made it worthwhile. I grinned, "Just kidding. Don't take it seriously. Well then, I think I shall…"
"Maybe…" He said, cutting me off as he stood up and walked towards me, "all you need is a…"
He handed me his mug.
A mug? I took the empty mug, assuming that he wanted me to bring it over to the sink as well. All I need is a mug? HUH? How does that make sense?
I swear I almost dropped both the mugs when his arms suddenly came around me. I suppose I just froze over like a stone when he leaned forward and kissed me lightly on my left cheek. And the moment he did that, I think I felt like I just burst into flames and I swear it is no exaggeration. I felt like I was about to explode for some reasons and yet I was so stunned I couldn't even move. My hands were helplessly hanging on both sides, clenching tightly to two mugs. As his lips left my cheeks, he whispered, "… kiss to break the promise…"
I shivered involuntarily, still feeling the burning imprint of that small little connection. I couldn't even think that, my mind was too overwhelmed to even think. All I could feel was the warmth of his arms over my back and the lingering touch of a kiss. And he didn't let go of me. We just stayed there for the longest time, neither of us daring to move. I could feel my heart beating erratically against him, and it made me more embarrassed than ever. Yet I could not pull away, I seem to be sinking deeper and deeper into the embrace. There was an indescribable warmth within me, and there seemed to be a terrible squeeze in my heart as he held on to me. What was this that I was feeling? Why does it feel like an awful heartache, the ones I used to feel when watching a tragic scene in a movie. I felt an abundance of feeling rushing out of my heart and I couldn't stop it and it hurt, and yet, it felt strangely good at the same time.
Finally he released me and I was so shocked I was almost reeling backwards. I took a few deep breaths to calm my erratic heartbeat, but all I could feel my raspy inconsistent breathing. I felt like the world was spinning and I didn't dare take another step lest I stumble and fall.
Eric was smiling at me, and I felt like he was standing miles away even though he was just right in front of me. And as I looked at him, I felt that terrible aching in my heart again. That wasn't right. If I love him, I shouldn't be feeling this terrible pain in my heart. What was it? Why would my heart be aching if I love him?
Eric's smile became broader and he started laughing softly, "When I'm with you…I just feel happy. I don't know why, but I just do. You make me want to laugh for no reason at all."
As I stood there staring at him laughing in a way I've never seen him laugh before, it was like he had passed on some sort of joy towards me. Suddenly all the memories I had of him came flooding back. I thought about the first time we met and all of a sudden, I was joining Eric in his laughter.
"Life's one big vacation for you," I said, laughing even louder, thinking back of the first time we met, "That is the worst thing I've ever heard anyone say.
"You tripped and fell flat beneath my feet. That was such a sight," Eric countered.
"Hey, you were scary alright? How could you be so mean and cold, Mickey?"
"MICKEY?" Eric said indignantly.
"Oh and you're a terrible singer! And you're awful at making jokes."
"I seem to recall you laughing at most of them" He said.
"I DID?" I don't recall him ever making a decent joke.
"Nope. Just kidding," He grinned.
I couldn't help but continue to laugh harder. "Well, you just did," He continued.
Finally, when we were done laughing at one another, Eric said, "It's late. We should all be getting to bed."
I nodded and slowly turned to go, my mind already starting to replay what had happened earlier. I walked past the electric fireplace towards the spiral staircase, preoccupied with my thoughts.
I turned around. He was standing next to the fireplace. A few candles had been lit up and placed on top of the pedestal and they illuminated his face tenderly.
"The mugs," He said, with an amused tone, "You're still holding on to the mugs."
I looked down at my hands. HUH? How could I have forgotten that I was holding on to two mugs? It wasn't as if they were weightless. I felt incredibly stupid as I laughed awkwardly, "Oh yeah… how silly of me…"
"Here, I'll take them,"
I walked towards him, handing him the mugs, "Thanks."
"Goodnight!" He said, looking deeply into my eyes as he said it.
I paused. I didn't know why I had called his name, I just wanted to say it. He stared at me, waiting for me to say something. And as I looked at him, a strong sense of impulse filled up within me. I leaned towards him and kissed him gently on the lips. I pulled back immediately, surprised at how it felt. He seemed stunned and I too was stunned at my own actions. My neck was burning up with heat and suddenly I couldn't wait to race up the stairs to the room.
"Goodnight!" I managed to squeak in a small voice, turning and half running towards the staircase.
My whole body was burning and my heart was thumping madly as I floated up, still feeling light headed and surprised by my own actions. I didn't dare look back at Eric, who was probably still standing there stunned as well. I tried to shake that embarrassing image that kept popping inside my head and looked up, only to see a faint glow coming from the room and three pairs of gleaming eyes staring back at me.
It was going to be a long night...
- End -
I wanted this story to start and end with a kiss. :D Anyways, thank you everyone! It's been a great two and half years? (gosh) I really appreciate all the reviews/ feedbacks you have left me. And if possible, please tell me what you think of the end. Even if you've never reviewed before, that's fine. I just want to know what you think of it. Thank you!
PS: Would you guys be interested in seeing some of these characters in an alternate universe (same characters, completely unrelated story)? Just a thought though, if you're completely sick of seeing them, I can truly understand. LoL