I am wandering chaos


in the rain

as you lift me up to a new plane of existence

and days no longer counted with sorrow.

I watched

as if I were child

still twitching past my fingers as you went away.


and flawless

inside your beauty

and manhood.

I rose up tonight

in the rain

remembering the pain that I felt then

all to well



as though

the fever pitch of your hushed goodbyes were some kind of litany

and I myself

the prayer

that you fold your hands together for.

I ran

I screamed

I begged.

I became invisible

no one but you saw me

in my allure

and lingering latitude.

Everywhere I have gone

you have gone with me,

I will not see you strip yourself of me now

after all this

and let you learn to live without my touch again

like midnight

without its moon.

I have risen tonight

with you in my arms

arms that you dared to leave

and arms that dared to defy this sentence that you placed upon them.

The breeze


pulled me toward your moving car

and my legs learned a new trick.

My voice

my words

were invisible

no one heard me

except you

and this time you really listened.

I am above now

that you stopped that car

and got out.

I was the rain that night

falling on you in showers

and loving embrace's.

My hands on your face.

My lips on your skin.

I wanted you deep in my mind,

deep in my heart

and your words deep in my soul.

I wanted my arms around you always

I wanted you to stay

and you did.