Sometimes

Sometimes it's hard not to jump,
when I look over the railing
and I see that dying grass,
calling me, beckoning me,
daring me to join it in its rhapsody.
Sometimes it's hard not to jump,
when I think about my mistakes,
the guilt tears at my mind,
asking why and asking how,
and I'm lost, without an answer.
Sometimes it's hard not to jump,
when I hear the voices, behind me,
taunting me as they laugh,
with their rumors, crawling over,
against my skin, stabbing in.
Sometimes it's hard not to jump,
when I lay down at night
and try to understand it all
without running to the balcony
and looking over, wanting over.
Sometimes it's hard not to jump,
when I ruined my achievement,
with that blade, hidden no more,
as it holds me down to the floor,
and pulls me apart.
Sometimes it's hard not to jump,
when I hear about the devastation
I caused and left behind,
that I always seem to do,
as I look over the railing.
Sometimes it's hard not to jump.

A/N: So much for my year, two months, and seven days without cutting.