Santa Monica

I lingered against the sunny sidewalks of Santa Monica

with Adam beside me

holding my hand.

I liked Adam

he was different from you

and on short notice

he would due to mend my broken heart.

The silver lining in all of this

was that this was a one night stand

myself with Santa Monica

I would be gone

from the board walk

and waves by tomorrow

and all of this

and you would be history.

I couldn't tell Adam

I liked him

with his planes

to bring me home to meet his mother.

I am nothing

no one.

I am the wind

blowing through this nation

like a hurricane

against my borders.

Where would I go?

I couldn't go home.

I thought about running to Mexico

and changing my name to Lucy

and dying my hair raven red

and looking for a nice boy named Ricky

so we could live in the black and white world that I watched as a child.

I thought about a lot of things that night

on the side walks with Adam

holding my hand

and telling me that I was beautiful

something that he had never seen before.

I thought about many things

but I didn't think about you.