First Love

A long time ago

When I was only twelve

Events were taking place

That opened my eyes forever

I met some new people

Whom I will forever cherish

Elizabeth, Nicole

Alanna and Katherine

They cared and treated me well

Like there very own sister

And to this day, I thank them

For making my life worth living

But there was one person

That excelled them all

With his soft caring words

The words of God, himself

His honorable name was Matthew

The treasured eldest of the Johnson boys

The tallest and most caring

The one I shall always remember

He was not as suave as an actor

Or as handsome as a God

But oh was he so sweet

Like the sugar from the heavens

He was caring and smart

Sophisticated, and kind

The traits that I always admired

And now worshipped because of him

I spent hours

Gazing at him

His smile and his face

Watching me, embarrassed

Oh how I loved him

More then anything in the world

The air I breathed or the food I ate

It didn't compare to him

But all he ever felt for me

Was friendship and guidance

I was the lamb

And he the gentle shepherd

My love for him increased

With every word he spoke

If it were praise or a reprimand

It did not matter to me

All I ever wanted

Was for him to be mine

But I was so young and foolish

And he knew better then me

He tried not to encourage me

When I threw myself in his path

He was sweet and gentle

And only offered comfort

Whenever I felt sad

And told him so in tears

He would sneak his poems

Into my undeserving backpack

And my heart would thump in my chest

As I read them over and over again

How could I not love him?

He was all I could ever want

And oh how I would long

For him to gaze at me

The way I gazed at him

Lovingly and hopeful

A year and a ½ passed by

With me as lovesick puppy

Following him everywhere

Eager for his attention

And one day it all ended

As I boarded a plane

And bid farewell to this place

That I had never called a home

I also said my goodbyes

To my dear friends

And hope wherever they are

That they shall always be happy

But most of all

The hardest goodbye

I had ever uttered

Was to my very first love

He said his farewell causally

As if I were only a friend

Which I had always been

When he thought of me

So now, I haven't seen him

For more then five years

Not a word and not a phone call

I guess I should give up

But the one thing

That will never change within me

Was the lesson that he taught me

When I first met him

"Be proud of who you are,

And who you'll always be

Don't give up and sit in tears

That will only make it worse."

So Matt, if you can hear me

Or even think a thought

I want you to know

One thing

I will always love you

For as long as time can go

You'll always be the first boy

That I ever loved