I sat there as tired as hell can make the sinful soul
Could not stop the tears from staining my ghastly white face
How could this have happened?
The fact that he was such a good friend of mine hurt more
How he couldn't even tell me his problems made me cry
Now he's far gone to a different world, and only memories live on
No, it's not true was all I told myself, as I mourned by his grave
Too bad this was reality, my best friend had committed suicide.

The pain was just too much to take, the silence killing me.
To think something could be painful enough hurt me even more
His dark brown hair, those lovely hazel eyes was all that flashed in my
mind
I could see him grinning back at me, hear the sound of his laughter ringing
everywhere
Again I heard his voice, this time calm and telling me it's okay to cry
But like being shaken awake from a nightmare, I realized I was sitting by
his grave
And through all this, I couldn't take the silence of his grave anymore.

Memories flooded my mind; vivid images of our togetherness filled my
thoughts
All I could think of was the urge to join him
Knowing he was peaceful was killing me, yet brought me to peace
His suffering was over, but he left me behind to survive alone
That didn't stop me from hurting myself, as I pierced my hand with a blade
I cried silently, watching the crimson tears drop to his grave
My hand spoke for all that happened, for all the anger and the pain
I felt it was no longer meaningful for me to live alone

I hated him for leaving me all alone, I hated him for hurting me so
Realizing he won't come back was all that crossed my mind
I hated myself for not seeing, how could I be so blind?
And I called myself his best friend, but if that were the case then I would
have seen
Even the crimson tears were not enough to numb the pain
I flung myself into a pool of darkness where I couldn't see, couldn't feel
the forms around me
The feeling that I may never laugh again felt so bad, my heart ached.

I felt bad yes, but I knew that I have to go on living
Though I thought of my father's gun, I couldn't kill myself
Maybe someday I'll help stop someone from doing what my best friend did
And I know that one day I'll meet my best friend in heaven
Sometimes when I think about him, I realize that I loved him
But now it's too late to tell him that, he's gone
Since he died an early death, I've told everyone I love that I love them
Because maybe tomorrow I might not get the chance

I still sit by his grave sometimes, wishing he were alive
Wishing I didn't have to cry fifty thousand tears
All in the hope to bring him back from the dead
Feeling sorry and mourning for the loss of my best friend.