So Paranoid,

"They're out to get me"

Feeling used.
Manipulated.

Led down the garden path.

Disgusted with them all.

By now life seems depressing,
And nothing seems to help.

So Jealous,

"I wish I was more their type"

"More normal"

I'm just Greedy.
Self-indulgent.

Revisiting old memories only makes it worse.
I try to find meaning behind it all.

Behind all the lies,
The decisions.

I'm living in the past.

One thing alone sustains me.

Deception.

I'm a lie to the world,
To myself.

I don't know who I am.

All I know:
I live,
I breathe,
I cry,

I play pretend.

"But why?" I ask myself.

Even I can't say.

I lack a truth,
A truth inside,

Hidden in a labyrinth.

So I live behind a mask of smiles,
Artificial joy.

So no one else can see how I'm suffering so.

I just want to understand.
I just want to know the truth I'm hiding from within.

I'm looking,
Searching,

And no one can help me find it.