My Conclusion

You make me wonder how much I can take

How much can really be endured

When I see you, I turn away

To keep you from seeing my face

And knowing more than I can ever let you

But you're nice to me


I will never be allowed to say this

But you're nothing short of perfect

And that's all I can see

But you'll never think of me

The way you think of him

You torture me by being there

And making me feel what I shouldn't

I'm embarrassed to write this

Or to say it to a soul

But I can't stay away

And I can't stop caring

Anyone would know that you're beautiful

But I care more than I know

And that scares me

I hate myself for seeing it

And I hate myself for hating so much

And for everything I've said

So I have to hate you for nothing

I need you to hate me back

It's the only feeling you'll ever requite

And it'll keep me away

Keep me from hoping deep down

That maybe…

But I hate myself more than you

I hate that I have to lie

I hate that I can never tell you

And I hate saying this doesn't count

Or projecting my shame

I hate it all

I wait for my conclusion

You take someone's hand

And nothing can change me

Even the hopelessness

And all those who will hate me

Soon enough