Your Definition Of Love.
My life has not gone to plan. I have struggled in vain to have control over where I am headed, but every time I've thought that I was on the correct path something has came along to shake up my world. Not being a fan of change and the unknown, this always terrified me. I've pretended like the rest not to care, after all, it is a game of cool. No emotions are shown. No one really cares for anyone and everyone wants the one that they didn't come in with.
Tonight was no different, I knew as I got out of my best friend's truck. I took a deep breath and straightened the short denim cut off skirt she'd picked out for me. The brisk October air seeped underneath my clothes and I tugged on my black blazer for warmth. I believed in layers during this time of the season, but Nikki forced me to wear the cut off skirt and magenta corset and I really just didn't want to risk getting into another argument with her. After making sure I had my flask filled with vodka, a pack of Marlboro's and ID in my messenger bag, I ran a hand through my hair and checked my makeup in the side mirror.
"You ready?" Nikki ask running her hands through her chin length blonde hair. She slid my bag off of my shoulder dropping her keys inside. Her heels clicked loudly on the pavement.
I nodded in agreement. Tonight happened to be my twin brother and my twentieth birthday, and all of our friends wanted to celebrate. I, on the other hand didn't feel like celebrating at all. I rubbed my lips together and out of nervous habit placed my hands inside my skirt pockets.
There was a crowd of people waiting for entry into the hazy restaurant. As Nikki talked to Mike, I stared at the occupants inside. The crowd was not what I was used to. The men were dressed in baggy jeans, wearing button down shirts and trucker hats added into the effect of cool. While these men might be well suited for other girls, this was not the scenario when it came to me. I was interested in a different genre of boys. Those who were mischievous , standing out in a crowd with their eccentric Rock 'N' Roll attitudes and dangerous good looks was more my style. It was the only kind of guy that I had been allowed around much to my mother's dismay and delight for my brother, Owen. After the doorman let us through with not so much as an ID check I spotted him almost immediately. The birthday boy, a blue beanie covering his shaggy blonde hair, his blue eyes glazed over from a day of drinking.
"Ladies…ladies, have a seat." Owen gestured while slurring his words.
Nikki and I took a seat in the booth across from him.
"I thought we were supposed to be celebrating." I commented. The rest of our friends had yet to be seen.
"Happy Birthday." Owen said brightly while sliding his hand over to my hand, giving it a gentle pat. Even though he had drunken himself into a stupor, he was still very genuine.
"Back at you."
"So…where is everyone anyways?" Nikki ask.
"Looking for Rooney." Owen waved to various people around the bar. He seemed to know everyone in this town. When we were younger, I had always deemed his social skills as part of my hell; for my brother never truly let me experience a life outside him or our friends that I was allowed to occupy my time with. Much of this contributed to my cynical view of life but Owen, well… he wouldn't have it any other way.
And Rooney, for the most part was a wonderful guy to be around- when he was around. He was the one who started the band that Owen was in back when we were all still in High School. He was the one that held everyone together so to speak in the group. That is, whenever he decided to show up for practice. With his swagger and sense of ease he always had a flock of women chasing after him, although he never gave any of them the time of day. However; thus spawned his mass appeal. Usually you would find him high off of whatever drug he'd taken or coming up with brilliant plans that never really fell through.
"I see." I slid next to my brother and made a reach inside my blazer for a cigarette.
"I thought you were trying to quit." A lanky man appeared on my left dressed from head to toe in black. As my gaze turned toward his face, I immediately noticed his normally short dark brown hair had grown longer, to his jaw bone and had been dyed a peacock teal.
"I was." I smiled up at him. I hadn't realized just how much I would miss the man that stood near me. When he left for California all those months ago in search of himself and new lady friends I thought that I would be seeing him in no time, my how I was wrong. I fought back the urge to give him a hug and gave him a wink. There would be a more appropriate time for hugging later; not in front of Owen.
"Smoker's." He laughed.
"You've got to love them." I replied.
I made a point to look at Nikki, who was clearing making it her point to check out every man that walked through the door. I rolled my eyes at her. She has been with the same guy since she was fifteen years old and never thinks twice about cheating on him, Brent. Men never have cared though and the two of them spend more time defending their relationship than actually having one.
"Well, look who came to wish my favorite twins happy birthday!" She nodded towards the entrance and made a noise.
"We are the only twins that you know." Owen pointed out, a wide grin appearing on his face.
"That is why you all are my favorite!"
I laughed at my best friend who paid no attention to my brother and instead waved to the entrance. I looked up as he made his way over to our table and felt the all familiar lurch in my stomach. He held a cigarette in his mouth, a hand absentmindedly messing up his long dark brown hair. He was absolutely breathtaking. He was my brother's best friend. He was the famous Weston Capers. He was who I compared every male in my life to. And he was not with me.
"Happy Birthday!" Weston slapped my brother hard on the back and took a long drag of his Red. "Where is everyone else?" He asks.
"Rooney." I stated simply and put out my cigarette.
"Figures." He rolled his bright blue eyes and I couldn't help but stare.
"Dude, we need a manager." Owen said after a minute or two had passed.
Weston nodded in agreement. Their band Bitter Lager would be well on its way to mainstream success if the boys could get discovered. They were all so talented that it was crazy to think that the band hadn't been signed to a major label. I always thought that after High School it would be a sure in for sure. But life came into play and they haven't played in anything but clubs.
"Where's your girl?" Chase asked him while giving my hair a light flick.
He raised his eyebrow at me and I pretended not to see. "Visiting family."
Visiting family. That was her excuse for cheating on him. We have all caught her in the act but he chooses not to believe it. She cast a spell over him and has him wrapped around her little pinky and I hate her. I hate her for treating him like he isn't her world. I hate her for being with him.
"Haven't seen you around much."
This was directed at me.
I smirked. "Sure you have."
He cocked his head to the side and laughed. We both knew that I haven't been hanging around lately. I was trying to distance myself from him.
"I've been working a lot." This was true for the most part. I had gotten my schedule arranged so that I wouldn't really have the time to spend with him.
All of a sudden Nikki's cell phone started to ring and I knew who it was before she even looked at the screen. An immense smile was spread across her tanned face and a genuine feeling of love was known.
Good ole, loyal Brent.
"Hey baby." she said. She got up from the table and was making her way out of the noisy restaurant.
I rolled my eyes at her. She was so hopeless. I am a firm believer that women should be independent from who they are with. I have tried fruitlessly explaining this to her but to no avail. There is no possible way in making Nikki see the error in her ways. I began to laugh to myself thinking back to when they first got together and she introduced us for the very first time. I got to see Brent's humble beginnings- he is such the little heartthrob nowadays.
"Are you stoned?" Chase asked causing my laughter to cease.
"No." I swatted his handsome face.
"Then why are you laughing? The Luka that I know doesn't start laughing abruptly to herself for no reason. What's going on in that beautiful head of yours?" He tapped my head for great effect. "Who are you and what have you done with my Luka?"
"Oh, I'm yours now?" I ask.
"Forever and ever baby." He smiles.
Weston placed another cigarette in his mouth and turned his attention to me. "She keeps secrets now, Chase."
Chase had a look of such surprise on his face. "Well in that case, I am going to wisk you away! You must tell me everything that you've been doing these past few months." He got up from the table and dragged me to my feet.
"Where are you whisking me to?" I laughed.
"Baby you are in good hands." Chase soothed. We stood hand in hand ready to leave.
"In that case, I am all yours for the taking." I told him.
"Not too good of hands." Owen warned. He was so damn protective of me when he didn't need to be.
Chase saluted my brother in mock and I had to laugh. I snuck a look at Weston who was watching me. I nervously tugged on my blazer and let go of his hand. Not wanting to look at him for too long I forced myself to look away.
"Not to worry. Luke never lets anyone get too close." Chases told him and that was when I decided to leave. I pulled his hand and we made our way outside.
The cool air hit me just as my realization did. That man was going to be my undoing.