"A Loathsome Thing"

I watch you.
Resentfully---longingly---obsessively---
It's because you're happy.
I could kill you, I swear.
I'm sorry, I hate you, I can't take a part in this---
Something that I'll never have a real part in.
I can't play along, I refuse to pretend,
So I just watch,
And I hate each moment you exist.

...Is it because I couldn't be you, is it because I'm not you...?

Is it because I'm too flawed? Is it because I'm just wrong?
Is it because I'm resentful? Is it because...I'm the devil?
Is it because I'm loathsome and guilty? Is it because I'M NOT PRETTY?
Is it because I'm beyond redemption---
Horrible beyond all redemption?

(Yes, is that not it?)

But
I
Don't
Want
To
Stop.

And I watch...
and
I WANT MY REVENGE ON YOU!
I want it now.
I could kill you.
I will not die...until you're dead too.
Call me obsessive-compulsive.
(Act like I don't know it.)
But I just HATE, HATE you.

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME?
DO YOU WONDER, CAN'T YOU SEE?

...Is it because I couldn't be you, is it because I'm not you...?

Is it because I'm too flawed? Is it because I'm just wrong?
Is it because I'm resentful? Is it because...I'm the devil?
Is it because I'm loathsome and guilty? Is it because I'M NOT PRETTY?
Is it because I'm beyond redemption---
Horrible beyond all redemption?

I'm a FREAK OF NATURE, do you know that?
They called me that when I was a child,
AND THEY WERE RIGHT.
They called me other things, too...
But never you.
You were all created by a machine...
The machinery went wrong,
And it made me.

Could I be corrected?
Fixed? Put back together?
MADE ONE OF YOU?
Hell no.
I saw through the conspiracy and I saw through the cult.
I CAN'T become ignorantly bliss and join you---so I won't.

I watch you.
You're disgusting.
NONE OF YOU WILL EVER LOVE ME!

Now
I
Don't
Want
To
Stop.

I watch you.
Resentfully---longingly---obsessively---
It's because you're happy.
I could kill you, I swear.

Is it because I'm too flawed? Is it because I'm just wrong?
Is it because I'm resentful? Is it because...I'm the devil?
Is it because I'm loathsome and guilty? Is it because I'M NOT PRETTY?
Is it because I'm beyond redemption---
Horrible beyond all redemption?

...Is it because I couldn't be you, is it because I'm not you...?
...Is it because I couldn't be you, is it because I'm not you...?
...Is it because I couldn't be you, is it because I'm not you...?

IS IT BECAUSE I'M NOT YOU?